Stages of Grief: Anger

Karen, now that COVID is on the way out
( it will be endemic, rather than pandemic),
I've noticed more manly hugs between men. On Thanksgiving, I was greeted by
the grandfather, my age, and the grandson,
who towers over me in height. Both
hugged me, in addition to all the women
there. It felt wonderful. Another time. I
ran into an old friend I hadn't seen for a
while, and he surprised me with a big hug
instead of the usual handshake. I think
that after quarantine and isolation,
people are seeking out other people, at
last. Lou

 

Men don't hug!
or at least that was the foolishness I was brought up with. what is it to be a man?
Not care about what others think! I had a father born in 1916 and he was old to me when he died.
My first go round with Mister GriefAsshole! I was 6. My head is still; messed up.
Hugs for all!
A million-zillion hugz! I say

 

George, my father didn't hug either . I believe real men can hug and can cry,
too. That's what makes us human, and
not robots, thank God. You see tough
soldiers, cops, firefighters, etc, hugging
each other, grateful to be alive. Lou

 

Yes! Lou! I totally agree!

 

Thanks for the extra hugs from everyone. I had to text the moderately evil sister about some tax information regarding Cheryl‘s business. On two of her texts she said I hope all is well and I responded with a GIF of Honey Bo Bo. I called the library to confirm Cheryl‘s recognition event and it had been canceled. I asked the moderately evil sister what she knew. She was angry with her self and apologized that she forgot to tell me. I don’t feel as poisoned as I had about our relationship. It’s amazing when someone extends us kindness how it affects our outlook on life. The hug that softened my heart. Thanks Deb for bringing up forgiveness this morning. It was weighing on my mind. I’m not expecting any change from the demon possessed sister. I’m thinking about the hours I squandered dreading being around them. All for nothing. Why do I always imagine the worst things happening? I’m work in progress. Thank God TGW accept each other as we are. George you could check out exercise bikes after the first of the year when the price goes down. Lou Cheryl was 68 when she went over the rainbow too. Gary

 

Thank you, Gary. My mouth dropped
open when you said Cheryl died at 68, the
same age as Linda did. I love the "over
the rainbow" analogy. After Linda died,
I saw a video of a young Judy Garland
singing that song, and cried my eyes out.
Funny that you said that, bc I saw &
heard the same video on my phone this
afternoon, listened to the sweet melody,
and did not cry. I believe there are no
coincidences, that God brought good
people into my life since Linda's death,
Including you and the rest of TGW. Lou

 

That is so cool. I love that song too. I got lost going to the butcher and couldn’t figure out how? I dropped off venison to be ground into burger while I waited. The owner came out and struck up a conversation with me and carried the burger out to my truck. Normally the place is packed and he is very busy. It was divine timing and I felt comfortable enough to tell him Cheryl’s story and feel his compassion. I may not have done that if I hadn’t seen the positive results you’ve gotten by being yourself and not concealing your grief. Only in certain conditions can I accomplish this. My mind was really poisoned with resentment and fear though I didn’t think I had a problem. TGW are an outstanding group of survivalists. Gary

 

Hi Gary, it’s Sat the 18th, still a week away. Thanks for remembering.
(tentative date had been the 11th so it’s possible I shared that earlier)

 

I need a break from sad.

 

Don't we wish we felt like that. I love happiness in this video. Tks, Karen

 

Beuller? Beuller? Linda & I loved
this movie, and saw it many times. Lou

 

If I knew how to put the video of Napoleon dynamite I would. I’m technologically challenged. Thanks Stacey.

 

Gary, Linda & I watched this 1986 comedy
many times: Ferris Beuller's Day Off,
starring Matthew Broderick. They skip
school, in an elaborate plan, in the
streets of Chicago. One classic scene is
when their high school economics
teacher, played by a deadpan,monotone
voiced Ben Stein, keeps repeating:
" Beuller? Beuller?". It's great that our
California friend, Stacey, has made us
laugh again! As for Napolean Dynamite,
I saw that only once, and don't remember
it too well. Lou

 

Thank you, Stacey! As I told Gary, Linda
& I watched Ferris Beuller's Day Off,
many times. The crazed high school
principal cracked up up. Lou

 

For Gary

 

Stacey, I'll beat brother Gary, in thanking
you for another short funny video. One
added benefit is the other funny videos
which follow. I was in my usual breakfast
spot this am, and laughed out loud at the
Sean Connery impersonator, making lewd
wisecracks to infuriate "Alex Trebek" ,
played by Will Farrell. Then, there were
funny Seinfeld scenes. I'm keeping yourp
email on my phone for later. I'm going to
an Irish music session at lunchtime. I was
afraid I might cry, bc Linda & I used to go
to Irish pubs to listen to that music. But,
I was asked by the hostess to reserve a
seat, bc it will be crowded. She asked if I'd
be willing to share a table with strangers.
That will be better for me,than probably
crying by myself. Lou

 

Thanks Stacey!!! Gary

 

I feel your anger. I was married almost 53 years. People say horrible things. I know they think they are helping me
I'm lonely and at this point don't know what to do
I'm neglecting myself and don't feel healthy
I pray for wisdom and for help to get through this horrible time

 

Pirurup, I'm very sorry. I lost my husband 1 year ago to cancer. It's been a tough one year and it's not better yet. As you said you have neglected yourself and don't feel healthy. I also have neglected myself because when Jack, my husband was ill for 8 months then home with hospice I was his caregiver along with the hospice team. During all that time my thoughts were with him not me, I lost weight, no sleep, drank more, didn't eat properly mostly because I was homebound with him and couldn't leave the house for groceries unless I had my daughter come over. To this day my system is shot. I'm trying to get back me, but it's a slow process mentally and physically. I tire easily, take naps go to bed early. We were married 39 years. If you can focus on yourself and get healthy you still have you.

It's hard to know where to go from here or what to do. Just get through each day then another day and so on is all we can do. Pray for guidance. My name is Karen