So tired and guilty all the time

Discussion in 'Loss of a Parent' started by Solitaire2003, Jun 17, 2021.

  1. Solitaire2003

    Solitaire2003 New Member

    I lost my dad 2.5 months ago very suddenly. I had seen him an hour before, he had a massive heart attack and died instantly. I have so much guilt about so many things I should have done for him and said to him. I was made to go back to work after two weeks. I have a mortgage and I live alone so had little choice. Every ‘normal day’ I have makes me feel horribly guilty- functioning as normal even if just on the outside. And I’m so tired- i sleep badly, my joints are sore constantly and when I get home from work I have no energy for anything- cooking, cleaning, walking the dog. And I don’t want to talk to anyone. My friends are calling and emailing and messaging- I’ve told some of the really persistent ones I’m ok and need space but don’t have the energy for everybody and can’t foresee a time when I’ll want to see people again.
    Did anybody else share any of my feelings?
    Daniele likes this.
  2. Daniele

    Daniele Member

    Hi there. My father died last month. Even though he had been ill, we thought that we had more time to spend with him.
    We had a complicated relationship in the past, but we had worked to restore things the best we could. I have enjoyed spending time with him since moving back to my home state 10 years ago.
    I share in how you described feeling so tired all the time. I have so little capacity to handle things at home, much less being able to focus on my work.
    Also, I know that I led the decision making toward the very end for him, and I have guilt. I wish that there was more I could have done for him, am hopeful that I respected his wishes the right way, and wow... there is so much more we could have talked about, shared, etc.
    I also don't really feel up to socializing, even though recently I was looking forward to seeing my friends who I've missed during this long pandemic. It's just so much.
    Chris M 2000 likes this.
  3. Chris M 2000

    Chris M 2000 Well-Known Member

    Well said
    Daniele likes this.