So painful.

Discussion in 'Loss of Adult Child' started by Enderly130, Jan 6, 2021.

  1. Enderly130

    Enderly130 Active Member


    I'm not exactly new here, I lost my husband a year ago in October.
    I was doing ok. I got through the first anniversary, and started feeling like maybe I could live again.

    Then, at the end of October, I lost my beloved son in law in a tragic accident. He and I were very close. He was a son to me. A friend, a helper, a buddy, a confidant.
    He was so helpful and kind after my husband died. He was that way before too. The best kind of person. Sweet, kind, caring, happy. Always up for an adventure, always willing to help anyone.

    So my heart has been torn from my chest, and I'm back to the days of early grief.

    It actually physically hurts my chest/heart when I think of him. And he seldom leaves my mind.

    And my poor daughter, is a widow at 30. She should not have to deal with this horrific pain. This is so wrong.
    It just should not be.
    But it is.

    And it's unbelievable.

    It's only been 2 months. And already I can see people looking and acting like I should be doing better. Like it's for them to decide. They did not lose this precious son. I did.

    I just don't have it in me yet. I've had the life knocked out of me...it just should not be. He should be here.

    I'd have given my life for him if I could.

    Thanks for reading this.
    Chris M 2000 likes this.
  2. Chuko138

    Chuko138 New Member

    I’m so sorry you are going thru that. It broke my heart reading it. I recently lost my wife of 21 years on December 14th 2020. Me and our kids are just devastated. I thought I alone with these feelings till I read your story. I have a good support system but I don’t think they get it. They act like there is something positive to look it but I don’t see it. They go home to their normal lives with their spouse and family and I sit here alone wishing I could bring my best friend back home.
  3. Enderly130

    Enderly130 Active Member

    I am so very sorry for your loss.
    It is true...people don't understand unless they have experienced the same type of loss. They try, but they just can't.
    We are the club that nobody wants to be part of.

    Our hearts ache and bleed for our lost loves.
    All we can do is hold on.
    Be gentle with yourself. We have to be.

    Wishing you all the best!
    Chuko138 likes this.
  4. Chuko138

    Chuko138 New Member

    Wishing you the best as well
  5. Chris M 2000

    Chris M 2000 Well-Known Member

    What heartbreaking events you have been through. Yes, it feels like someone reached down into our heart and pulled out a big chunk and now there is just a big empty space left there. Even so, with what's left, it feels like our chest is going to explode sometimes. Grief really does hurt physically as well as emotionally. When you feel so down, remember we are here for you. I wish encouragement to you and pray God will comfort you in your darkest hours. We care. Chris