So lost

Just lost my husband of 42 years on 6/29. I am so lost, so scared, so alone.

 

My name is Helena, I'm very sorry for your lost, I was like yourself so afraid and alone and finding this site has help me to continue in one piece without breaking apart, losing our partners of so many years is like half of us went with them. On the 23th will be six months since my husband left this universe, I was all alone, crying constantly, friends and family don't understand how horrible is this grieving journey. Again I'm so sorry for your lost, please take care of yourself and hopefully you'll continue in this site, all the grieving soldiers here are very supportive of each other, now I have made my friends known as The Grieving Soldiers of GIC.
Helena

 

Dear Lost, I'm deeply sorry to hear about
the death of your husband after so many
years, As my friend, Helena said ,you've
come to the right place, My wife, of
25 years, no children, died suddenly in
front of me, over 3 & a half years ago.
She was 68. Her name was Linda, I'm
73, and my name is Lou. May I ask your
name and your husband's? I was the
one who came up with the phrase, The
Grief Warriors (TGW) bc we never
leave anyone on the battlefield of
grief. I see that you live in Texas. I live
on the northern coast of Massachusetts.
I have 3 younger "brothers" on Grief in
Common ( GIC): Gary. from Indiana,
George, from Illinois, and Chad. from your
state. I also have close widow friends.
Nobody from Texas, but 3, incl. Helena,
from South Carolina, 1 from Georgia, and
one from Alabama. Out West, with a 3
hour time difference, is Karen,from
California, and Bernadine, from Oregon.
Hope you will stay with us on GIC. Lou

 

Still trying to figure out how this site works..I had a stroke and 3 weeks later, my husband dies..it’s all too much..

 

Lost, so sorry about your stroke. Email
Karyn Arnold, the founder of GIC, to get her help. I did that when I first joined. Lou

 

You are in my prayers.

 

My name is Karen. I'm so very sorry for your recent loss and your stroke. Double whammy. It's 19 months since I lost my hubby, Jack. Looking back I think the first year is the worst, then second year the grief changes in different ways. Hard to explain. But, the pain of the journey continues just changes. Take care, karen

 

I'm so sorry for your loss. I will pray for your strength today and every day.

 

I’m so sorry for the loss of your husband. And your health issues on top of it. I lost my husband unexpectedly to a massive heart attack. We were married 41 years. We did everything together, even ran a business together. Nothing prepares you for a loss os your soul mate. It takes you down in a split second, and getting back up takes so much time and effort. It is scary. Your loss is very recent. Don’t push yourself. And definitely take care of yourself. Your husband would want you to. I hope you have family and friends offering support, you need that more then anything else. You have a whole community of people here that understand what you’re going through and how you’re feeling. And never any judgement. Visit this site often, read and share thoughts. It does help. The site does take some time to figure out. You can also choose contact at the bottom of each page to ask for pointers. To reply to a specific post, click on reply when you’re finished click post reply. Might help you might make it more confusing. I’m sorry if that’s the case. You’re in my prayers to find some peace and help you move towards better days. Karen is so write that the first year is the hardest and the second is hard but in a different way. You’ve come to terms with the loss but need them even more.
Sending you hugs, Robin

 

Robin, your words of comfort to this
potential new member, are eloquently
moving, as always. My mission in life is
to help others. In my daily life, I enjoy
making people ( friends and strangers)
laugh . I like to laugh with them. You and
I have come a long way since the deaths of
our soulmates. Lou

 

Thank you Lou, I agree we have come a long way. It seemed impossible for so long and still does sometimes. But I feel stronger and have more better days. And that was my goal. This is a very long and hard process that we have to go through in our own way and time. We will never forget Ron or Linda, they will be with us forever. If I help just one person get through their struggle, then I’m happy. I have guilt sometimes that trying to help someone is actually helping me too. Robin

 

Hi, I just want to say my heart goes out to you for your loss, and I do hope you have recovered from your recent stroke. I lost my beloved husband from a sudden heart attack, just like Robin, he was only 57. I joined this group a while ago, and even if at times I just feel too sad to 'talk', I am glad I found it, wish I'd discovered this site earlier.

Just like our lovely friends have said here, comforting you, it does take time, still so soon for you. It is important not to repress your feelings, write down whatever is going through your mind, feeling in your heart, only someone who has also lost a soulmate can relate and understand, so you have come to the right place here.
Sending you strength and comfort.
Rose.

 

Rose, it's so good to see you on here at 4am,
my time. I hope to roll over & sleep for
another hour, when I usually get up. As
I've mentioned, summer is my favorite
season, bc the Neck ( our promenade) is
lively , with both locals, who are my
friends ( some own shops) and tourists.
Every Friday night, I sit at a bar with a
friend, wise soulmate died 3 years ago,
listening to live music. He's actively
seeking another woman, and can be
restless. He sometimes drinks beer to
work up the courage to talk with women
in whom he's interested. I go for the
music . I'm more relaxed than he is, bc as
I've told others on GIC, incl. my brothers,
Gary, George, and Chad, if it happens , it
happens. I don't want to get married
again. but might be interested in having
a female companion with whom to take
walks by the ocean, hear music at the
cafe, share a meal, a laugh, and even a
hug. It's complicated, bc I just woke up
from a dream that I was hugging Linda,
and saying I missed her. Last night, i was
talking with another friend, whose wife
died before mine. We talked about the
afterlife briefly, and the idea we'd be
reunited with our soulmates someday.
But right now, we want to live life to the
fullest. Lou

 

Robin, I've managed to lose the guilt, but
I had a hugging Linda dream at 4am. I
saw you "talking" with Rose, and I replied
to her , at length. I don't want to repeat my
post,
bc I want to sleep more. 4:30am is too early. Lou

 

Dear Lost I am terribly sorry for the loss of your husband of 42 years. My name is Gary and I lost my girlfriend Cheryl suddenly and unexpectedly of a cardiac arrest 15 months ago. Yes this site is hard to navigate. On the home page tap the menu button on the right (3 white bars), then tap “make a connection “ and then tap “see and share stories “. Scroll down to “loss of spouse “ and then you are with the most kindest compassionate loving and caring people you’ll ever know. I was in shock and depression 5 months after losing my beloved Cheerful Cheryl. I had never loved or felt loved by someone in my life other than Cheryl. In person grief support meetings counseling volunteering helped but GIC gave me more continuity to survive this miserable journey through grief. I can have hourly contact with people who care here. What I learned in hospice volunteer training is the surviving spouse’s mortality rate increases 40%. And they are likely to get a terminal illness within the first year after their loss. My cancer came back one month after losing Cheryl. There were times I wondered if I wanted to keep going. It took 9 months to get the feeling of normalcy. I balled my eyes out every morning for 3 months. I let the grief bubble out. Please don’t hit and run. Please Stay here. Make an all out effort to get connected to this site and the grief warriors. You are one of us and you are never alone. Gary

 

Dear "Lost", I agree with my younger
brother , Gary. I was angry and very
frustrated when I tried to join GIC, a
year ago. I emailed the founder, Karyn
Arnold for help. You may want to do the
same. You chose " Lost" for your thread,
but there are different threads. The
most common are Loss of Soulmate and
Loss of Spouse. Don't give up! Lou

 

Lou I hope you got to sleep some more. I can say I have less guilt but it’s not gone. Ron told me if something happens to him to enjoy life and not let life pass me by. He will be ok and waiting for me when it’s my turn. I’m trying. My kids are my life line. And as I just wrote Rose, I just got back from a short beach vacation. Very rejuvenating. We have been having shark sightings and attacks all around me here. Never had that before. I hope your dream hugging Linda didn’t bring too many tears. In my heart I feel she’s visiting you.
Have a good day. Brutally hot here. Spending the day in my pool. Robin

 

Robin, I don't complain about the summer
heat,bc I love to talk with both locals &
tourists. In Feb, I have to take a bus or
train to a larger city. bc my small town
is so quiet. Sorry you have shark problem.
The ocean is very cold here, so I wade in
only up to my knees. Lou

 

Hi, it's good to see you all on here again, Lou, Robin and Gary. We're in the middle of a 100F heatwave here. It is normal this time of year but the humidity just gets so unbearable. Lou and Robin, you are both very lucky living by the ocean, the breeze you get there must make your air much more breathable in these hot summer days. As you know, we live out in the country, amongst the hills, so it's not too bad really, in town temperatures are even higher, humidity worse. In fact Lou, like you once said about your town, in the summer our village is full of local tourists who escape from their scorching hot towns and cities nearby to come and stay in their holiday homes.
Robin, thank you for your post in the other thread, yes it's amazing how our lives and family situations are very similar. I don't know if it's because it's summer and the days are so much longer, but lately I've just been feeling worse than ever, missing my C terribly, so many memories of all those summer holidays together, really hurts.

Take care all of you, and thank you for being here.
Rose

 

Rose, I was depressed & felt confined, in
winter,
away from people, and lonely. I thought
I might have a condition of depression,
in the winter, for lack of natural light.
But, I've heard that some people can be
depressed in the summer, and "lonely
in a crowd" like you seen to be right
now, especially without C. Lou