So Alone

Weekends SUCK!

 

hi geo i amhee if u wanna call

 

call me anytime geo

 

BroBerwyn, just came home from outdoor dancing in front
of a band. The only thing I spent
money on was a bottle of water,
which was good for my wallet,
and now, my kidneys , as you
know only too well. I did confide in a few friends about both my
diminishing funds AND kidneys,
and it felt good not to bottle it
up. I'm grateful I can talk freely
with other Grief. Warriors,
especially you, Brother George,
who has given me tips on my
new diet. As you always say,
we "keep trying"....
Tired Travolta

 

i am tired of trying

 

Lou I’m so glad you can still enjoy dancing on those nights when there’s bands playing outside. I know being outside, close to the beach and dancing are all things that keep you going. You’re in my prayers as always. Praying things turn around for you health wise and cash wise. Linda is there with you and trying to be your support. Last night Ron visited me, he was in bed holding me. I kept asking him to hold me tighter. It was so beautiful! Gave me a good start to the day. And tomorrow is another beach day. take good care and keep trying. Always keep trying Lou, sending you hugs and much love.
Summer

 

seems like i am aLONE

 

Didn't even go on GIC yesterday./ Hottest day of the season here.

 

call me if u want to

 

George,

I think I've missed lots of your recent posts, but I hope today is a better day, even if only by a little bit, than Monday was. I love the way you always keep on trying, no matter how much your life sucks, TUTTAM!!! You are not only the UGW!!!, but one of the GW who inspires me to try my hardest every day to be the best possible version of myself that I can possibly be. You have had to deal with so much sh*T!!!, TUTTAM!!! since we first "met," in what seems like ages ago. No matter how much sh*t is thrown your way, you keep on trying, trying as hard as you can to move forward. You ARE!!! way stronger than you think you are, TUTTAM!!!

Backing up just a bit, it's so hard to believe that so much time has gone by since Valerie's and Bob's deaths (or transitions , my preferred way of thinking about this). It SUCKS!!!, TUTTAM!!! I seem to be stuck on SUCKS!!! & TUTTAM!!! this morning, lol!!!, but the combination of those two words, short and to the point, seem to say it all. I wish so much I had Karen's gift for saying it all in just one or two sentences!!!, lol!!!

I feel like I'm starting to ramble, so lucky for you, I'm stopping here. I want to get to the store and pick up a couple containers of Fage Zero, my favorite yogurt, the only brand I eat, that's on sale for half price. Life can't get much more "exciting" than this, TUTTAM!!!, lol... Yikes!!! I can't believe my life has come to this, getting excited about a half price yogurt sale, lol... I really need to get a life!!!, TUTTAM!!! However, once September hits, I'm going to begin volunteering, and hopefully begin Skye Queen's formal training. It's time for me to get off of my a$$, and begin paying it forward.

Sending you zillions of hugs and lots of love, wishing you peace, all of us peace all the way from TUTTAMVILLE... DEB & Skye Queen

 

my friends are telling me to get rid of the clutter and hoarding my wife did. i have a dumpster coming in 2 weeks. i am giving at least 10 bags of her clothers and stuffed animals that she bought that were never enjoyed by me or her.green drop is the place. i am told not to look in the bags but.. yes i took out a few bears to keep cause i just cant get rid of everything yet.rainly day here that i used to love but now it makes me upset that i have NO one to spend it with.

 

Hey Bruce... I hate to say it it is something that you need to do in order to let go and move on. This is not easy You could wait until you are more ready.. but no one is ever ready for this hell. Clearing out my house was so hard but I'm glad I managed to do this. My son was a great motivator... but it still hurt and hurts 2 and a half years later. But still glad I did it cuz I had NO CHOICE... I needed to sell the house. It does still hurt me o think of all the stuff I got rid of,, had to do it. Just like the F*ng dialysis. You can be strong to do this.

 

Hey THE DEB! I have not been on GIC a lot ior had the energy for lengthy posts. I find myself verging back into severe depression in which I cannot/will not make myself do stuff. I wish I knew what to do to pull myself together. I again have no motivation to do anything even stuff I used to like. I think the excitement of the new aparatamant has worn off and I'm back to my depression the only difference I'm freaking out about money now and my son is not around to distract me or give me purpose. Gonna be a hundred today in BerwynVille. I wish I could pull myself together., No energy to! You and "SkyPilot" keep on trying. Is all any of us can do.

 

Your stuck on Suck cuz most things... well... SUCK!

 

my friend derek arrainged this cause i backed out once before. i am committed now.if i do back out i may lose him helping me and ruin my chance with the cleanout ppl.i found the clothes and animals in the bedroom mess, i will NOT get rid of any bears if i see them i told DONT look in the bags, she told me before she passed get rid of it all.she said i wasnt forcefull enoght to her to do it. well i WAS but it didnt happen. i dont like this at all.

 

took the bage to green drop. cried.they told me they will not burn or hurt them but will clean and sell. i do so what believe them

 

George,

I'm so very sorry to hear how much you've been struggling. I've been MIA more than I've been here too. The last 28 months finally caught up with me, and although I wasn't depressed, I was emotionally drained of all energy, totally wiped out. Looking back, my life has been in a constant whirlwind of activity, first Bob's transition in April, 2021, then just when I feel like I'm getting my sh*t together, and looking forward to adopting a dog, some F*cking A$$hole, blows through a stop sign and t-bones my car exactly 15 months and 1 day after he transitioned. (Can you tell forgiveness is still very much a work in progress???, lol...)

It took me the rest of the year to recover enough to finally be able to bring Skye Queen, a/k/a, Skye Pilot, a/k/a Skye Karma, a/k/a Skyster, home in the middle of January, 2023. The transition from being out on the streets, to the rescue, and then to my home was tough on her. She was my velcro girl, not even allowing me to be in the bathroom by myself. Finally in March, she was finally making some progress, not quite as needy as she was when I first brought her home. I was looking forward to Skye Queen officially beginning formal training, when I unexpectedly ended up in the hospital for six days. Skyester regressed, and I had to start all over again, gaining her trust, making her feel like she and I are family, that this house is hers too. I'm happy to say, Skye Pilot has finally morphed into a very happy girl. Adopting her, has been by far, one of the very best decisions I made since Bob's transition, TUTTAM!!!

Just to spice things up a bit, in between Bob's transition and me ending up in the hospital, I had to have my central AC replaced, my dishwasher replaced, my refrigerator repaired, a tree removed with an invasive root system that was dangerously close to my water line, my yard dug up, and replaced with sod. Wait, I also drove over a nail on my way to my first post op check up at the hospital. The tire which wasn't even a year old, had to be replaced. There's more, but lucky for you, I'll stop here, lol...

Through it all, I thought about all that you've been through, all that you're still going through, and told myself that if you could get through the very darkest, worse days of your life, I could get through the very darkest, worst days of my life too.

I wish there was someway I could help you get out of this slump that you're in, but all I can do is let you know I'm here for you, always will be, and you, along with all of TGW, are included in my daily prayers...

As always, I know nothing I said can possibly make you feel any better. I know I sound like a broken record, but you ARE!!! stronger than you think you are!!! Please be very gentle with yourself, take things one day at a time. Just keep on keeping..., all any of us can do.

Sending you zillions more hugs and lots of love, wishing you peace, all of us peace, all the way from TUTTAMVILLE, DEB & Skye Pilot

 

Debster,not sure if it were you,
or another Grief Warrior, who
came up with UGW for George.
but it fits. He's the only one of
us who has to undergo the pain
& endless hours of dialysis on
top of his grief over the death of
his wife. Valerie. But, hearing
about your last 28 months (!!)
incl.many details I had forgotten,
I would have to call you one of
the bravest GWs on here.
Perhaps. an assistant UGW to
George. You have also been an inspiring author of legendary
"books", and one of my closest
and funniest friends. Lou

 

why cant there be a restaurant that only takes singles in small booths which could seat 2.