Discussion in 'Loss of Spouse' started by SusanMc8, Oct 3, 2021.

  1. SusanMc8

    SusanMc8 Well-Known Member

    Well, I thought I was doing so well after losing my husband eight months ago but I’ve been a mess the past few days. I got my 3rd covid shot and wasn’t feeling well from it so I’ve stayed home the past 4 days and haven’t wanted to talk to anyone - our 57th anniversary would have been tomorrow so this is definitely a trigger. I am usually out and about and talking to lots of people. I just don’t feel like it - what’s the point? Some of my kids will come over to help me through the anniversary- I am really down and crying a lot.
  2. RLC

    RLC Well-Known Member

    Susan I’m sorry you’re having a rough time right now. Anniversaries are so hard to get through. Im so glad your children will spend time you tomorrow and help you get through. I can offer that for me the days leading up to those special dates have felt worse then the actual day. It will be emotional and difficult but not as bad as your mind conjured up. I’m hoping that’s how it goes for you and try to shags some memories with your children.
    I understand you questioning what’s the point, I go there too. But our husbands want us to take care of ourselves and get fresh air and see others. Just be sure to get fresh air it does a world of good. The tears are ok, let them fall, it’s cathartic for us.
    All the best to you, and you’re in my prayer.
    DEB321 likes this.
  3. DEB321

    DEB321 Well-Known Member


    I'm so sorry you're struggling so much. I'm going to be going through a lot of "firsts" too. Many years ago, my husband, Bob and I went on our first weekend getaway on October 11th. October 11th is also the sixth month anniversary of Bob's death. Our wedding anniversary would have been this month too. I wish I knew of something to tell you that would make this time a little easier for you, but I'm in the same boat you're in. It seems like lots of us are struggling this month.

    I'm hoping what Robin told you is true for all of us, that the actual day doesn't turn out to be as bad as we think it'll be. I'm also very glad some of your children will be with you today. Please take care of yourself the very best you can.

    Sending you hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB
  4. DEB321

    DEB321 Well-Known Member


    Thinking about you.... How are you? I know how much you were dreading yesterday.

    Sending you lots of hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB
  5. SusanMc8

    SusanMc8 Well-Known Member

    Thank you for asking and thinking of me, Deb . Our anniversary was yesterday and it and the days leading up to it were hard - three of my children came over last night which helped a lot. I feel better today. I’m kind of dreading the holidays but I’ll get through it and then the anniversary of Jim’s death. Hope you are doing well - you are very kind and thoughtful and I really appreciate - as many do, I’m sure. Susan

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  6. DEB321

    DEB321 Well-Known Member


    I totally "get" how you felt as what would have been your anniversary date got closer. I'm struggling with this now. I'm even struggling with tomorrow, a day that brings back very special memories, of when Bob and I took our children to bring home a puppy, who became a cherished member of our family. It was such a fun day... I remember it as though it just happened yesterday.

    I'm glad that three of your children visited you last night and made things easier. It's good to hear you're feeling better today. It's making me smile...

    So many of us are dreading the holidays, but I'm hoping just like Robin said, and from what you just told me, that they won't turn out to be as miserable as I'm expecting them to be.

    As always, sending you hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB