Saturday Nights are killing me.

DEB: Karen & Patti were the
first ones to welcome me to
GIC. Robin was the one to
persuade me to stay, when I
was about to quit bc of my
anger, frustration, and "foggy
widowed brain",as you so
cleverly call it, that I couldn't
navigate this site. I had to reach
out to Karyn Arnold, the
founder of GIC , for help, and
she kindly & patiently did. Then around Halloween one year ,
the GIC system had to be
rebooted, and I lost contact
for days from my friends
here ( my friends on this site
were closer to me than those
outside). I was furious. & emailed Karyn, asking her if
the glitch were a Halloween
prank, which was a nasty thing
to say, but I was frustrated,
angry, depressed , and lonely.
Karyn said it was NOT a
"prank" & that her tech team
was doing a rebooting. A fellow
Grief Warrior contacted me by
private email.so that if GIC
ever went dark again ( which it
does from time to time),I will
have a lifeline. I wish we could
all get together & have a group
hug, like they did on the last
episode of The Mary Tyler
Moore Show! Lou T.

 

I'm sorry for your loss. You definitely described grief right there is nothing that can directly show or tell us how to go through it. There are books and things that can help ease some through it but we're all on the same journey just taking different paths. There is no guarantee what works for one will work for the other but it good being able to express ourselves because we never no who we're helping. You can’t get to George physically right now but there will be times that you'll feel him with you. Some of the same memories that make you sad right now will with time make you smile. Take deep breaths cause it will be overwhelming sometimes like you can't catch your breath. It's been 3 years since my Gant left and I still sometimes want to.wake up from.the nightmare. Our kids are my motivation to keeping moving. I pray you continue to get stronger with each passing day.

 

George, I think you really are
a younger brother, bc we
use the same language when
having to listen to non stop
talking A-hole loudmouths: We
want to scream SHUT THE
F**K UP! As Robin says, she
moves away when that happens,
but you were trapped in that
torture chamber with that
"inconsiderate turd" as Linda
called annoying people who
bothered us-- to their face! She
was feistier than I was, & didn't
put up with any crap.She told
off young parents of screaming
brats, when they wouldn't
take their toddlers outside a restaurant, where we were
trying to have a quiet meal. If
we had children, we never
would've let that happen. That's
not how we grew up. Brother
George. vent to us anytime.
Not one of us has to go through
dialysis like you do. I have
low functioning kidneys, as
you know. and I'm doing
everything I know to prolong my
life and avoid, or at least, delay
dialysis as long as I can: a new
renal diet, exercise ( walking,
and now joyful dancing!). As
the Ultimate Grief Warrior
( UGH), George, you have
given me diet tips to deal
with declining kidney power ,
and I'm deeply grateful.
An aging Louis Travolta

 

DEB: Karen & Patti were the
first ones to welcome me to
GIC. Robin was the one to
persuade me to stay, when I
was about to quit bc of my
anger, frustration, and "foggy
widowed brain",as you so
cleverly call it, that I couldn't
navigate this site. I had to reach
out to Karyn Arnold, the
founder of GIC , for help, and
she kindly & patiently did. Then around Halloween one year ,
the GIC system had to be
rebooted, and I lost contact
for days from my friends
here ( my friends on this site
were closer to me than those
outside ).A fellow Grief Warrior
contacted me by private email
so that if GIC ever went dark
again ( which it does from time
to time) that the kind person
could be my lifeline. I love
all of you in your distinct styles
of writingEB'S "books" (!!!!),Gary's sometimes moving
& sometimes funny posts, Karen
( or as I call her, Ms. Hum), for
her witty & wise one liners,
George, for his unique wild
spelled , humorous wordplay,
and more.... Lobsterman Lou

 

P.S. Not sure why I called you
EB with a funny green emoji,
DEB!!!

 

G, don't they have recliners for clients to sit in comfortably? A hard chair seems unacceptable for that long of time.

 

No, you're not exaggerating at all, George. How can they get away with treating a patient that way? Absolutely unacceptable, so sorry you had to go through this.
We're all here for you.
Take care of yourself.
Rose.

 

Ms.Hum,I agree with you about
the chairs,and what's up with
the loud volume of TVS &
loud voices in the next chair?
That's not permitted in a
room at a hospital, so why in
the dialysis center? My doctor's
office has soft, soothing music
and a fish tank. both reducing
stress & the high blood pressure
to which George was subjected.
Lou

 

Yes agree. George, can you take a pillow or something soft?

 

Jeffrey, Thank you for

 

Saying A Happy Hello to those who have liked my posts. Checking in to say "I am thinking of You". Happy Friday!

 

To another George, Just checking into with those who have liked my Posts to others. I am her to listen. I may not answer immediately, as I work to support myself and my Pups. I have no income except what I work. But I will get back to you as soon as I can. I am hoping that you are well George. Take Care. Kim Elizabeth

 

I love that you have fur babies that love you unconditionally and keep you company. I have Teddy my little dachshund and my daughters dachshund, Slinky is over often too. Teddy is the best company a d support I could ever ask you. Kim Elizabeth don’t worry when you can answer, there’s. no pressure.
❤️ Robin

 

That's so kind of you! I appreciate this friendly message after another grueling session of dialysis!

 

I am so Grateful to you for taking the time to read my post and even more happy that you shared your thoughts with Me. I am struggling every day to keep myself from falling apart. Profound Sadness. All I can say is that. I am just finishing a double shift at the Nursing

 

Home where I work.....So I will talk to you a little later. I am very interested in hearing your experience in becoming a Widow.

 

I am not having a real good day I am almost always so tired and unmotivated. My son just moved away so I am truly alone. I was there for Valerie for two and a half years as she became very sick with the terminal LipoSarcoma and died in February of '21. Some days are better but inside I am devastated, hurt wounded, traumatized... I used to want the time to do stuff I liked. Now I really don't like much of anything. Oh, I try to do art and get out and walk but today everything seems too hard. I lost my career as a teacher because of kidney disease in 2016 and since Valerie died I feel like this utter worthlessness and am blank inside a lot. Self care is a never-ending struggle. I thought I got past some of the worst of the depression but it keeps on coming back. All one can do is keep going on and trying.

 

Brother George. the younger
brother I never had: we take
care of each other. I'm always
here for you,even if I don't
respond right away ( we are in
a one hour different time zone,
your Illinois to my Massachusetts). When my blood tests showed I had a low
kidney function, I was very
depressed & couldn't sleep, bc
I expected worst, dialysis like
you have. But, both you & my
doctor said that I keep to a
special renal diet & exercise,
I can avoid, or , at least delay
dialysis. He said my dancing
( and the joy it gives me to
hug &dance with my female
friends, & even strangers), is
better than walking. I really
hope you will become less
isolated, & you can take more
walks in your new neighborhood. Lou