Saturday Nights are killing me.

Robin, I am very grateful for your support. Our stories are similar. My Husband died of Cardiac Arrest. I was in the Hospital myself due to complications from Dental Surgery. My Brother lives next door to me and went to check on him as he was not answering his phone and he knew he was home. Apparently George was already gone but the Paramedics came and did their thing anyway. The Doctor from the local hospital called me and told me that they were unable to revive him. I was Devastated. A feeling of profound Sadness the likes of which I have never experienced before. And the waves of devastation keep coming. No control whatsoever over them. I am sure you are familiar with. I am 58 years old. Geo was 57 years old. And we buried his ashes on his 58 th birthday. I really miss him. We were not done!!! Ugh.. I am Happy you have the Memory of the "I Love You from Ron. That must be of Comfort to you. I am getting ready to leave work and go home. Dreading the Night. But luckily I worked a Double Shift at the Nursing Home and am tired. I will look forward to hearing more whenever you are up to it. All My Best to You Robin. Kim Elizabeth

 

Valerie was dying for two years and I took care of her. She was 57! We were a couple since 1987 when I was just 21. I am so glad you are posting on this site.. it helped save me from my severe depression and grief. Love, George!

 

I am also a George, BTW

 

Hi Kim Elizabeth, I haven't greeted you yet, I am so sorry for the sudden loss of your darling soulmate. I am so moved by your heartfelt posts. You have probably read my story of how I also suddenly lost my C, in a similar way to you and Robin. No warning signs, no health issues, just like a bomb hitting us, now being left with the aftermath. He was only 57 too at the time, that was two and a half years ago, but for me it will always feel like it just happened yesterday. It will be his 60th birthday next month along with my 56th,why can't he be here to see this? I have one of our last photos together (on the day of our 25th wedding anniversary a few months before losing him), on my bedside table, which I still can't look at without 'freaking out' in a scream. I have kept the receipt of the restaurant we had been to, in a nearby tourist town, for a special lunch together, just the two of us. Luckily, it was still amongst all those bits of paper, old receipts, that we usually find lying around in our handbags.

This site has been my lifesaver, the only place I find empathy and understanding. You will find support and comfort from wonderful friends here.

I'm sending you a virtual comfort hug, all the way from Italy.
Rose.

 

Rose and Lou,

Thank you so much for your kind words and support. It means a lot. I recall praying that when the doctor walked in the room to us that he would give us good news. He was very kind and giving us updates every 10-15 minutes. Then he gave us the worst news possible. As you know my daughter screamed and then no no no, Dad! The doctor sat by me, he took my hand. I was shaking. He asked what my condition was cause he saw my cane. And after I called my son in FL I asked the Dr if he would explain to him what happened. And he did. Of coarse there’s so much more. I just can’t go into to. This is the first time I’m sharing any of this. Maybe I needed to. I don’t know. But I know this site is a safe place and everyone understands.
On a different note Rose I’m so happy to hear of the wonderful visit you received from your C. I’ve had a couple very much like that and they’re so special. I know you’ve hoped for that experience and I’m glad it happened. And hope you get many more. The white shite with the rolled up sleeves. Not only do I get that but Ron did that too.
Lou, I knew you would get it and could picture the tragic scene just as it happened. Thank you for caring. I’m sorry my story brought you to tears but glad they went unnoticed. I hope you enjoyed your day on the water listening to the musicians. It’s very late and I haven’t tried to rest yet. Hope you’re resting well Lou. Robin

 

Robin, on the other side of the world I have recently woken up.
I hope you have a peaceful, restful night.
Hugs.
Rose.

 

Thank you for your kind, comforting words Jeffry. These close experiences truly help us get through this difficult life-changing journey we are all sadly going through.
Rose.

 

Summer ( yes, I still want to
call you that, bc our favorite
season is so beautiful--- but
short). You did it again, and I
choked up when you said I
would understand. I had to
put The Widower's Notebook away the 1st time, bc the
sudden death of his wife of 40
yrs,Joy, was too much like
Linda's. I wept , had to stop, and
picked the book up again one
morning. Lou

 

Well Rose all the way from Italy.....I am sending you a virtual hug right back! You made me smile and feel not so alone. And for that I am Grateful. I am sorry for your loss and this kind of profound pain that we must endure. You seem so full of love and understanding. I am glad that you have those tidbits of Love Reminders, Photos and receipts to remind you of the Beautiful Life you shared together. I am interested to hear where you are at now and thoughts about your future. When and if you want to share. I am reaching for anything that will bring Hope to me that this heart wrenching pain will at some point ease up. Thank you very much for your Kindness. Kim Elizabeth.

 

I am so glad that you reached out. Another George! How lucky am I? I will continue to follow you all. I want so much to understand this Grief Process. Cause right now, I am lost. Thank you. Grateful.....Kim Elizabeth

 

We all get lost sometimes, especially when grieving. I feel particularly empty and blank today. Low energy and not motivated.. but I understand that, and it is OK, Times like that will happen. Hope you continue to join us (TGWs The Grief Warriors on GIC! )...

 

Hi Kim. I’m terribly sorry for the sudden and unexpected loss of your George. My name is Gary and my girlfriend Cheryl transitioned suddenly and unexpectedly from a cardiac arrest 26 months ago. There are no words to describe this. To me it was the internal realization that a dream had come to an end. Cheryl is my person. My soulmate. My orbit. Still today. I can’t describe the devastation of loss either. Google Six needs of Reconciliation of the Mourner. It is a basic explanation of the grief journey. One helpful fact was I really thought I was going crazy because of the mistakes, thoughts, and feelings I experienced. It talks about being very gentle and compassionate with ourselves also. This is paramount. I’ve read several books on grief recovery and meditation. I’ve had 2 different therapists. I went to in person grief support meetings. I was taking the maximum dose of antidepressants and tried over 7 different sleep meds. I weaned myself off everything at the 9 month mark. My most reliable source of strength, hope, direction, and the feeling of being loved and supported is right here on GIC. I’m glad you found us so quickly. It took me 5 months. We have to develop a warrior mindset to survive our new reality. Stay here and express yourself and receive guidance, love, and compassion. You are worth it. Gary

 

I am now home from a 12 hour shift from the Nursing Home I work at. I am the Front Desk Weekend Manager. I am like "Julie McCoy" the cruise director from the "Love Boat". And I always could Smile upon each person who entered our little home until June 21, 2023. Now I bite my cheeks so I don't cry the gut wrenching whale I want to give so that Everyone can race to me, scoop me up, and make "It" all Go Away! And yes, I have given in and let a few very familiar Visitors see that side of Me. And no excuses, I simply could not get a hold of Myself! I am Broken! So Very Brokenhearted! I just want my Geo back!

 

Gary, Thank You. All of that makes sense to me. I will keep listening and posting. Cause I don't know how to stop this Madness in mind. I just want My Geo to hold me. I smell his clothes to get to sleep, to get up, to eat, to think I can make it through another day. Ugh

 

Thinking of you Robin. Wondering how you are doing. Kim Elizabeth