Pulse night club shooting

Discussion in 'LGBTQ Loss' started by sixelaaaa, Sep 11, 2020.

  1. sixelaaaa

    sixelaaaa New Member

    (Posted on another forum but I believe LGBTQ fits better) I lost my best friend since 6th grade 4 years ago on June 12, 2016. He was held hostage in pulse night club in the bathroom when Omar Mateen unleashed fury in the nightclub, he was held for about an hour before police busted in but by then Omar and him were gone. I was able to do a vigil at our old highschool in Az and was able to fly to FL for his funeral and burial luckily Jet blue paid for everything but four years later and I am struggling. I find myself crying every other day and I don’t know how to move on. I’m pregnant now, graduated and got my own house and it hurts me to know he can’t be here for it. I went through anger where I just hated guns and everyone who partakes in these terrorist attacks to be just plain depressed about his passing. I talk to his family still, I sent him flowers to his grave the other day but nothing helps me shake the thought. I’m not really sure what I need to hear but I feel like nobody around me knows how it feels to lose someone you love in the WORST way possible, I feel like everyone around me (friends) wise is over it but it’s because he wasn’t their neighbor, he wasn’t teaching them cheer or crying to them so I feel annoying being so sad about him after all this time. I honestly just needed to vent, it’s really affecting me these days and I just wish he could be here with me. I try to stay strong bc I know that’s what he’d want but it’s so hard. Rest In Peace Jason and the 49 others that werethere that night, my heart hurts for all of you