Poetry for Loss of Spouse

Thank you, Rose. I meet tourists from other
parts of the U.S. They come here for the
beaches, art galleries , shops, and
seafood restaurants. They tell me how
lucky I am to live here. I tell them I feel
blessed. But, if a couple is here for a
while, I sometimes tell the story of Linda,
and how we came to live here. I am not
a bachelor. Linda is part of who I am.
In a moving play & movie, called Death of
a Salesman, the wife of her salesman
husband, says after his death, " Attention
must be paid". That line always moved
me. It moves me more now. Lou

 

A poem published by Diane Yule 2008 that I think could applied to some of us TGW

I miss the times when you were here,
Telling me to have no fear.
To hold my head up high and strong,
And happy notes to my sad song.

I miss the way you look at me
At i I were too blind to see.
The path I'm on might hurt and scathe,
But all goes well if you just have faith.

I miss the sound of your sweet voice
Through bitter times a saving noise
That told me what was right and wrong
But rang in my ears for far too long

A caring person, you were such
Who helped and hurt me, oh so much,
You'd guide and mislead me through the day
You left me lonely when I'd rather you star

Over thing like that you had no control
A rock set in motion will continue to roll.
No matter how hard you tug and heave,
You were always pushed and forced to leave.

Then one day you never returned,
My tears so hot the almost burned.
Aware now about what I lack,
Buy crying and mourning won't bring you back.

For me to let out what I need to say
I can't do much more than pray
No longer am I weak; my heart's quite strong
From adding a happy chorus to sad, sad song.

 

Helena, thank you for that beautiful, sad
poem, with a little hope at the end. For
some reason, on a sunny, 70s day ( my
favorite), Mr. Grief came to "talk" with me
about Linda's last days on earth. I tried to
think of how she was before she had to go
to the hospital,& then, the rehab unit of
the nursing home. But, sadly , Linda was in
decline. She was caught in a vicious circle
of both illness & depression, and her main
pleasures were watching TV and eating cake & ice cream. All of that sedentary
behavior stemmed from her not wanting to walk outside with her walker. Linda was a
strong, proud woman, who told the nurses
& PTs in the rehab unit that she was
"stubborn" and would "fight" her illness.
I believed her. But, as Tom Zuba says, it
was her time to "go home"........Lou

 

This was so much like Valerie! Wow... TeeVee and Treetz!

 

I've been so into reading old journals like from 10 years ago... WTF happened to me? Who am I Who do I want to be????

 

George. I had a feeling you would respond
to this. I recall that Valerie & Linda were
alike in a lot of ways. Both of them became
bitter & angry at other people, so TV gave
them comfort. Like you, I had to leave the
room, during loud game shows, with
screeching contestants, like on The
Price is Right. Lou

 

My advice is to shred those journals, which
make you MORE depressed. You & I, and
other GW, are not the same people. How
can we be, George? ..............Lou

 

Lou, sometimes we relate to sad poems, they bring good and bad memories, it's OK to be sad!... but our loved ones will be in our hearts for the rest of our lives!! even if they were stubborn, bitter, ungry; we are just humans in this universe!!!
Hope you're enjoying your good weather and have a lovely rest if the day. Helena

 

Yap, I'm here. Ducks yes. When you and Linda come back try to pick the most beautiful lake to live on, or float on.

 

Karen, I love it when you say, "yap". As I
mentioned to George, one of my favorite
spots is a small harbor, where ducks can
swim out to sea, on a calm day, and swim
back again. Linda & I sought variety in
our travels. One regret , as many other
GW have, is that we didn't have more
adventures with other people. I counted
16 ducks, one day, happily sunning
themselves on the beach, before setting
out on the ocean. Lou

 

Probably the most sensible thing to do, but I've already thrown out so much stuff!

 

Price IS Right was like the worst!

 

I know I'm not the same person. Reading old journals give s me some perspective in which to view my current situation,. I don't know who I am now and I have no clue what do to to find myself again. Still not interested in most of my old stuff. Don't know what I'm into!

 

Yes.I was eating a sandwich in a small
restaurant yesterday. The place had a large
TV with that hideous show on. I had to
grin & bear it, bc it was hot outside, and had AC inside. Next time, on a cooler day,
I'll get my food to go, and sit on a bench
somewhere. BTW, the long time host,
"comedian" Drew Carey, has a gray
goatee. He has aneasy gig, and rakes in
the money, while the mostly large
women run down the aisles , screaming.
I don't even watch Password. When
Alex Trebek was alive, Linda & I had
fun, when we got the right answer. and
the contestants didn't. After Linda died,
I couldn't bear to watch it again. After
Trebek died, I've heard the show has gone
downhill. Lou
,

 

George, I've learned that some days, it's
OK to "just be" and go with the flow. On the
days you don't have dialysis, I hope you
can enjoy the day, hopefully outside in
nature, or, if it's too hot, in AC inside.
We used to like going to a library, when it
was too hot. You went through a lot when
you had to move, & discovered that Valerie
was a pack rat. It may be time for you to
rest. and take part in some summer
activities. Lou

 

Just don't know what I want to do

 

WE used to watch Jeopardy! It WAS fun. Now I just don't care much. At The Dialysis Center the waiting room TeeVee is usually on Jeopardy. I don't care much. Just not into most stuff still.

 

Hey George,
I read something a little while ago….
When you don’t know what to do, do the next thing in front of you.
It’s kinda zen in it’s simplicity but;
Make the toast, water the plant, fold the towels.
Let your life present itself to you in each moment.
My sense is that when each act before you has your attention, has meaning, you begin to see purpose and your sense of self, who you are in your life increases.
~Bernadine

 

Too true, it just never seems to get better these last few months. I feel I was stronger last year...

 

Price is Right. Hum! Jack's Dad and Mom watched it constantly. We used to joke we would never watch that show in our old age and we didn't.