Hello grievers, thank you for taking time out of your day to read this. I lost my oldest, a son, on March 2, 2018 to suicide, but even now I cry for him just as I did the day we lost him. His name is Alec and he was the sweetest most caring person anyone could have ever known; he would literally give you the shirt off his back if you needed it. He was 25 years old, not married, no children. I feel like I'm missing a part of my heart and soul, everyday is a struggle to get through I just want to go to sleep and never wake up again so I can be with him. Yet, here I am, another day - awake and thinking about him. Everyday I wonder if there was anything I could have done and the guilt that washes over me is heavy. I would normally talk with my sister about things as she was and still is my best friend except... I lost her to liver failure 3 months before losing my son.