Thank you Lou! Saying you wanted to. savor my words made me smile. I love that you sat on that very special bench that has so much meaning. I bet Linda was there with you taking in the beautiful day and happy you have so many friends on GIC. The fact that you’re using Linda’s cane brings you even closer to her. I think you know my cane story. Ron wanted to buy me a cane. I wanted nothing to do with it. After a few times looking, I decided he was right and he bought me one. Then last year I forgot it in a shopping cart I realized and went back right away but someone took it. I checked at the store it wasn’t turned in and I checked the next day too. The cane I initially didn’t want was now gone. And my heart ached. I couldn’t believe someone would take a cane. I got a new one exactly like it. That’s the best I could do. So that’s my cane story. I understand your desire for a female companion. I know Linda wants you to be happy. I believe all our spouses want us to be happy. Lou, I started this last night. Something happened to the site and I lost most of what I wrote. This might be a bit disjointed because of that. I tried to remember what I wrote. Looks like rain here today. Not the beautiful picture perfect day we had yesterday. Robin
So happy to see your response to my post this morning, Robin! There WAS a glitch on GIC last night. I was about to reply to Karen. We've been having fun with nicknames. George gave me the idea when he called Deb, La Deb, and Debster. I started calling myself Louster, and Karen got a kick out of it. After failed attempts at giving Karen a nickname, I came up with one of her trademark expressions, & call her "Ms. Hum". Rose surprised me by calling herself Rosester, and joining the fun. This was wonderful,bc she hasn't been able to smile lately. Your name is difficult to turn into a nickname, and I don't want to call you "cane lady"! Lou
Karen, I was about to reply to your last post last night, but there was a technical problem with GIC (which Robin & other people experienced), but fortunately it was resolved this morning , and I was able to reply to you and Robin. I would never cast your opinions "to the wind", Ms. Hum. Another nickname for Rose other than Rosester, doesn't come to my mind , but maybe we should share ideas with other GWs. It would be a nice distraction from our mourning. Louster
I actually thought It was my internet causing trouble last night. I reset it. But it didn’t help. Then I saw I could go to other sites. I’ve seen your nicknames. Nice to have fun like that. Thanks not wanting to call me “cane lady” Lol! Are you getting severe weather today? I keep getting alerts. I thought I was just getting rain. Robin
No, it's partly sunny now. I prefer to call it that ,rather than partly cloudy. We may get some rain later today & tomorrow. Unfortunately for you, Robin, you seem to live in a vulnerable area, when you lost power, for example. Keep us posted. Lou
I’ll keep you posted. Right now the sun is shining. Strange that I keep getting alerts for stormy weather. Warning and stuff. Starting later today. As you know LI sticks out into the ocean and we get all kinds of weather. Good and bad. But I love the water and beaches so I can’t complain. I am relieved my electricity is repaired. So if the storm is bad I know my house is safe. After all the work was done the electrician told me if he knew it was that bad he would have told me stay at me daughters. He explained it as, could be fine for many many years or could cause a fire that would take my home. Talk about scary. Heading out before the nasty weather starts. Robin
Robin and Lou, seeing you both on line during the last few minutes, I thought I'd comment on the nickname conversation. I agree with what Karen says, that mine sounds like Roaster, and if you pronounce it with both esses, sounds almost like a tongue-twister! Reading all these posts here has actually made me smile a lot today and I needed that because today is a grey rainy day, hasn't stopped since early this morning and is likely to stay like that until tomorrow, when hopefully, sunshine is forecast. At least it's not stormy for once, just steady calm rainfall. Robin, I'm glad you got your electricity sorted out, I understand the problems that could occur during a storm if something is not correctly connected. We've had our fair share! Many years ago, our lounge nearly caught fire due to a short circuit, and the weather was good! No lightening, nothing. Our daughter was only a few months old, she was in her pram, sleeping, when suddenly my MIL (who was helping my husband look after the kids while I was at my afternoon teaching job) shouted out that she could see smoke coming out of a wall socket and a part of the curtain starting to catch fire! My husband quickly took my daughter out of the room, switched off the power supply at the mains, and managed to put out the flames. Since then, we have had a circuit-breaker installed next to the electricity meter and it does the job perfectly. It detects short circuits that we may not be aware of, electrical appliances that may not be functioning correctly, exposed loose wires (especially the outdoor ones, pathway lamps, lights in our wood shed) during rain storms, it switches itself off, cuts off our electricity supply and will not turn on again until the problem is solved. It's usually just an exposed wire that needs a bit of insulating tape. Luckily, doesn't happen often. My C did a lot of work on the electricity system, both indoors and outdoors, to put everything right, my FIL had been a little superficial, leaving many areas unprotected. Lou, I hope your day will become sunnier and less cloudier. Wishing you all a sunny day. Rose
Thank God your family was spared from a tragedy years ago. Many of us know, only too well, how unpredictable life can be. Linda's birthday is today, and I really missed her, bc I had to see my doctor this morning, and Linda always came with me. The very gray sky doesn't help. I'm like you that sunshine lifts my mood. Not sure about tomorrow, but Sat &Sun are supposed to be sunny. I hope that for you. Perhaps you can call yourself La Rose, or The Rose. That's all I can come up with right now. Lou
Thank you Lou. Yes, I like "The Rose" , reminds me of the famous film with Bette Midler, and the song she sings with that same title. I know the song but I don't remember seeing the film. Now you've reminded me, I think I'll try and watch it on streaming, one of these evenings.
I agree that The Rose fits you better than Rosester. You have a seriousness about you, and need your quiet spaces. Your humor in things will develop gradually. Lou
I so enjoy reading all your comments that put a smile on my face. Keep the sense of humor going. But on another note: Since Jack left I've had a profound sadness. It does not come and go it's with me 24/7 and I can't shake it. I know it's grief related. I don't cry as much after almost 2 years, but this sadness is bothering me. For all of you that have gone past 1 year and more is this common? It doesn't seem to be an emotional problem it's a mood that lives within me. Has anyone experienced this? If so, any suggestions how you dealt or deal with it? Tks, Ms Hum! Karen
Ms. Hum, is there any chance you'd be willing to talk with a grief counselor? The one I had guided me through a deep, hopeless sadness, gave me things to read, and directed me to GIC, which I couldn't do without.TGW are more profound friends than I have on the "outside". I know that word sounds like we're in a Federal Penitentiary, but sometimes it feels like we are, unless we can break the pattern. The burden of sharing your grief, Karen, can't rest solely on your daughter, just as I can't keep talking about Linda with my friends. Louster
One year in a couple of weeks with years on hospice before.... Does the sadness feel like longing? The place they were that is now unfilled inside? Deeper than grief, maybe subtler is a better word. It feels like it's settling right now. Like silt settling in the bottom of a body of water. My hope is when it finds a comfortable place to anchor it might ease up a touch, be a more settled emotion in me. ~B
This brings something up for me as well. I think an anticipated death has placed me in two places. I absolutely understand the individuals here who are in the first year with me. It's got an external heaviness to it for me.. and a needing to retreat. And I also resonate deeply with those in the years beyond. When the unfamiliar has become familiar. When somehow, impossibly, forever becomes tangible. You look up at yourself in your life. That's how my experience of grief is in me. We all have our path. ~borrowing Deb's peace...
If I can find a counselor who has been through a death not just someone who's in their 30's reading from a book. Yes. Tks,
Yes, I understand. My 1st therapist was cold, near retirement. I went to him bc he was covered by my health insurance. I knew, in my gut, that first time that he was not helpful, but stuck it out 2 more sessions, before I told him it wasn't working for me. I found a female psychiatric nurse practioner, also in my health plan, who was perfect--- kind, let me cry my eyes out in the beginning. She specialized in grief counseling, and had lost a daughter in college, who took her own life. The therapist didn't know her daughter was so depressed. I really hope you can get a good one, Karen. I think you'll know after the 1st session if the person is right for you. Lou
Yes, that's a sweet name, you can use whichever you please, The Rose or Rosette, I don't mind. They are both easier to pronounce than Rosester.
