Not Sure Where To Start...

Discussion in 'Loss of Sibling' started by lrp, Feb 24, 2021.

  1. lrp

    lrp New Member

    I’m not sure where to start...My heart is broken. I feel so lost, like I’m living in a fog. She died 2 weeks ago, my big sister. Freakin’ breast cancer metastasized. It was in her lung, liver, even bones. She was hurting. It’s a nightmare, remembering how she declined, how this strong, beautiful, kind woman who took care of everyone was too frail and week to even sit up by herself.
    I don’t understand it. I’m hurting so badly. We were extremely close. I was her little shadow when we were younger. Please help, just connect with me. My heart feels like it can’t take this. I want to stay curled up in my bed for days and never get up. I have to function for my 7-year-old daughter, but I’m hurting so badly! I’m emotionally and physically exhausted.
  2. amysea123

    amysea123 New Member

    Hi there,

    I am so sorry to hear about your sister. I recently lost my brother last week to metastasized cancer, and I share the same feelings. Seeing him so weak, in so much pain, suffering, and losing his life at such a young age. It is too much to bear. I am happy to chat if you want to talk with someone going through a similar journey as you. I think the hardest part for me is ridding myself of the image of him sick and dying and trying to remember him when he was healthy/happy. Hang in there.
  3. IngridBrooke

    IngridBrooke New Member

    I'm so heartbroken and reading your post made me want to give you a big hug. My older sister passed away, too. She was 6 years older than me and I absolutely IDOLIZED her. She was my whole world growing up - and continued to be well into my adulthood. Sadly she wasted away from alcoholism that we were all beyond helpless to save her from. I hate that you had to watch you sister senselessly slowly dwindle away from cancer, while I had to senselessly watch mine dwindle away from her drinking. I'm left with my eldest sister and, as a trio, we rocked it - but now that it's just the two of us, it doesn't feel the same. There's a distance and disconnect there - maybe from grief, maybe from the glue no longer being there. I'm trying to make sense of this all, and figure out how to move forward in a world that doesn't have her in it, and find it frightening, miserable and just WRONG. But I am trying...hence finding this website. I hope you're doing okay, I know you wrote your post back in February. We were lucky to have such amazing big sisters - try to hold onto all she gave you. Always around if you'd like to chat. Hugs.