Never the same

Discussion in 'Loss from Substance Abuse' started by Melisteve, Jan 27, 2019.

  1. Melisteve

    Melisteve New Member

    Hi. My name is Missy. This is hard... I lost my husband of 16 years on January 18th 2016. I am a recovering alcoholic of 5 years. Steve died in a tragic auto accident because he was drinking. I got sober, he didn't. I LOVED him SOOO much, but I just couldn't save him from himself. He was in denial for a long time. Then he would off & on ask for help... But in the end, never got it. People told me we would never make it once I got sober. And it did get difficult, but he was my other half, I just couldn't leave. It's been 3 years. I wake up EVERY DAY & it's like groundhog day. I have someone new in my life who is SO completely understanding. I feel so guilty in my head & heart because I don't love this person like I LOVED Steve. Yet, he understands. I have been SO blessed in my life, I feel like maybe God is "compensating" for my loss by how incredible my life is now... I.e living in my 1st home... On the beach... Having an awesome job, etc. But most days none of that matters because of the VOID of Steve. His photos are everywhere on my fb, I have his Ashes & I wear some on a bracelet on my wrist. I think I need a therapist, because it is not getting any easier. Sorry this got so long.. & Thank you for letting me share
  2. Washijuwia

    Washijuwia Member

    Oh Missy, that is so hard. My name is Deb. I'm also in recovery...34 years.
    Melisteve likes this.