My Son..no one elses

Discussion in 'Loss of Adult Child' started by Karmachic35, Aug 26, 2019.

  1. Karmachic35

    Karmachic35 New Member

    I lost Gage 5/19/19.... he cant be gone. I gave birth to his baby brother right weeks later. Ace turned 21 days old on Gages 21st birthday..... we didnt celebrate. Theres nothing happy about it...... I am lost. I am either pretending it's not real so I can be happy with Ace or I'm crying because it is happening...the only other thing I know is I'm afraid to lose Ace.....How can we live like this? How can I stop dying and live to love and raise this beautiful baby boy when my son is dead..I hate that word....it shouldnt be associated with my boy...this isnt my life or his...cant be....I need help
  2. JJ Flowers

    JJ Flowers Member

    Omg, I am so sorry. I feel your broken heart across the distance. Please know that what you are feeling is okay. You can and shouldn't change it. To have such a profound loss on top of the most beautiful experience life has to offer is... beyond difficult.

    Please do not 'pretend' everything is normal and you are happy. You are the opposite of happy. Ace is a newborn and what he needs is the comfort and closeness of his mother. He will be fine, so long as you are there for him. Love him. You will discover the miracle of a heart busted wide open; I promise you, you will be a wonderful mother for Ace and nothing will happen to him. (Any time you feel fear, change your thought. Instead imagine Ace as young and happy and healthy boy, and feel the joy of that. Remember fear is never good, or helpful. It is always a choice you, dear, dear lady can choose different.)

    You need to experience your loss of Gage. Cry, mourn, pound the pillow. Ace will always understand and you will see, t he will be such a bright light on your passage. If you need to talk, I am JJ at jaejflowers@gmail.com.

    I am sending love.
    Karmachic35 likes this.