My son, Jacob

Discussion in 'Loss of Adult Child' started by Jazbeese, May 10, 2021.

  1. Jazbeese

    Jazbeese New Member

    My story sounds like many of yours. A beautiful son who brought me so much joy struggled with addiction for years. In 2020, he got clean for the 5th time and was doing well. I was part of the family group (virtual during Covid) that his program held. It brought us even closer. It was the first time that I allowed myself to hope and feel some relief.
    Being cutoff from everyone during Covid was hard on him. At first, he spent a lot of time with me and his best friend who was also recovering. It was around December when he started to show signs of depression. He wanted to move to the next stage in his life--to have a girlfriend... I felt his despair grow. He had so many people who loved him and tried to help him.
    The could haves--I could have had the police hospitalize him, I could have stayed with him all the time, I could have done more, but
    on January 9, 2021 my son died of an overdose just 7 days after his 25 birthday. Everyday is hard. The grief comes in waves --sometimes I feel like I will drown but I keep going even though I don't really want to. The pain of facing each day knowing he is gone is unbearable.
    I think the only way I get through is to focus on other things like work but then when I let my guard down it overtakes me again.
    Chris M 2000 likes this.
  2. Chris M 2000

    Chris M 2000 Well-Known Member

    A very deep sadness that goes down into your very soul. Sometimes feels like your chest is going to burst open the pain is so great. A piece of your heart has been ripped out and it will take time to adjust to the idea that life is now different for you. it takes a while to even accept the idea that this has really happened. Hang in there and try to draw your strength from the Lord. It is such a shock and trauma that you need time to move forward at your own pace, even if it is at what seems a snail's pace. Be patient with yourself and take good care of yourself. This type of injury not only affects your heart, mind, and soul, but also your body. Be good to yourself- you need tender, loving care. We care about you. Please stay in contact with us. Chris
  3. RTdak

    RTdak New Member

    My son was diagnosed on March 15, 2014 and died on October 15, 2014. I dont know what to do, how to act. I feel like I am in a bubble. This is the worst feeling in my life. My baby is gone, now what do I do?
    Chris M 2000 likes this.
  4. Chris M 2000

    Chris M 2000 Well-Known Member

    I am very sorry about the loss of your son. We also lost our 28 year old son. We don't know what to do or how to act because our life was centered on them and now they are gone. It's hard to even accept that fact. Yes, it is the worst feeling in life.
    Take one day at a time. I know you have already learned this because it is the only thing we are capable of doing.
    Try to get outside each day to get some fresh air because it is healing to the body. Take a short walk. Eat healthy foods. Drink plenty of water and get plenty of rest.
    We are also walking down this road of grief so you are not alone. We care about each other. We hope to support each other. Sometimes just trying to help someone else, will also help you.
    Share your honest feelings so you can try to sort things out.
    I am very sorry for your pain.
    God cares about you, loves you, and will help you as much as you will let Him. Seek His help. He can give you strength, help, and healing that none of us can. He has done that for me.
    Love and many hugs to you,
    ShannonLD70 likes this.
  5. DavidGil

    DavidGil New Member

    I keep replaying the what ifs you speak of... this is the hardest part for me. I lost my 37 year old partner of 15 yrs to alcohol addiction and I am at a loss for words. So many different emotions come over me.. I started counseling to see if this helps and so far I think it has... Although as you may know so well, one min we feel strong and then the next we feel like we are so broken down. Please stay strong and I hope you are hanging in there. My thoughts go out to you.