My poor brother

I’ve had so much loss in only a few months. Not only have I NEVER gotten over the loss of my son now I can’t get over the loss of my brother who grew up with me. I also lost a dear friend and now one of my favorite uncles. I’m a complete mess. Not sure where to turn.

 

I'm sorry to hear you're experiencing so much loss. I just recently lost my sister. I don't even know what I'm supposed to be doing right now.

 

Me either.

 

No matter how I try to turn off my mind he’s all I can think about. I just can’t seem to get passed it. He passed away at the end of March. Each loss after him just makes it worse. I’ve had some horrible days. I’m so sorry about your sister I totally understand. Who will we ever be able to share our childhood stories with. No one

 

Hi, Cindy. I am so sorry to hear about all the losses you have had. We understand how hard it is.
Continue to share your honest feelings on this site whenever it helps you.
This is a place where people really care and understand the deep pain.
May God comfort you.
Chris

 

Thank you, I really need to find help to deal.

 

My heart is so broken.

 

Yes, Cindy, so understandable. When we lost our 28 year old son to suicide, I kept wanting to ask someone "Who can fix a broken heart?" That thought just kept running through my mind. I knew in my heart that other people could sympathize, but only God could help me. So I just kept on walking through one day after another knowing that God would help me. God can give you the help to deal with this, just as he did for me. My grief walk was a very, very difficult, long, slow process. But God did help me. He helped me to be able to function again when I thought I could not make it through another day. I even contemplated and had a plan for suicide because I did not see any sense that I would still be here without Shawn. He was my sunshine and companion. No matter what we did, I enjoyed being with him. And he was mentally tormented and there were many, many problems, but I was happy when he was still here.

Now my sole source of joy is when I worship the Lord with all my heart in church. It is more than a happy feeling, it is a true sense of overwhelming joy and utmost feedom. I know this is how it will be in the next phase of life God has planned for all those who love him. Better things are on the horizon.

I love you and care about you. Please stay in touch here and let me know how you are-I know it will not be good at this point, but it is good for you to express your honest feelings in a place where people care and understand those feelings.
Chris

 

Thank you for reaching out to me. I’ve lost my faith through all of life’s misfortunes. I asked God recently as I visited the church I grew up in…why did you take my brothers? Why did you take my son. Unfortunately, no response. I’m so depressed and just can’t pick myself up anymore. I have so much to be grateful for but I just can’t get past this. My brother I recently lost has left me so broken. We grew up together and I will miss him forever. I have two other brothers but one was killed in a car accident and the other abandoned us. But he has recently come back into my life which I am so grateful for. I’m so sorry for your lose and I truly feel your pain.

 

You have had so many losses. Sometimes it seems almost more than a person can bear. In our human strength we can't bear it-it is too much.
I am so sorry you lost, especially, this one brother who meant so much to you. We were never meant to experience death or separation from those we love. The wrong choice of adam and eve in rejecting God's wisdom for their own has cost us dearly, just as they were warned ahead of that choice.

I am here for you any time you need someone to listen.
Chris

 

Thank you for your support.

 

I’m mad at the world. I’ve accepted my brothers death but will miss him forever. I have such a hole in my heart. I don’t have any idea what to do to help myself.

 

You have started to help yourself by being honest about your feelings. I knew there was nothing to do to help myself-so I just waited for God's help.
You have had so many losses and so many close together. It will be very hard for awhile. But you are not alone. We care about you and are here for you.
There are support groups meeting online on this website (click at the top of this page if you are interested, but there is a charge for them).
There is also a chat room if you prefer to talk that way.
Please stay connected here too. You need all the support you can get.
Love and hugs, sending strength your way
Chris

 

I’m so heartbroken that it is effecting my marriage.

 

The truth is I really don’t care. I had 7 children and they don’t all get along. So on top of everything else I’m dealing with that. I’m so broken and so is my family.

 

I just don’t know how to deal with all of this

 

I understand completely the feeling of not caring about anything. This is still something that has probably hung on longer than any other feelings I have had. It is dangerous because there will come a point in time when you will care. Don't wait too long to make the effort to at least seem to care for the most important things which still remain to you. In the future you may begin to care about these things which you have left to you. Don't let it be too late to regain them.
One time my husband said, "You know, you can kill someone's love for you."
It woke me up. I realized I could lose him and now that time has passed he is important in my life. You most likely cannot undergo another loss without even more difficulty. You have already been hurt enough. Even though you don't care now (and I totally understand that), but somoeone else may not. We all grieve in our own way. Unfortunately the world goes on, even though it has stopped at that point in time of the loss for us.
At the funeral home one of the directors said, "Well, life goes on." It really mad me mad because life didn't go on for me. It stopped. But at some point in time, it will go on for you-it may not seem like it now, but it will. And then you will want to still possess anything that has been important to you up to now.
Your family may be broken, but our was too, and still is. We don't even know where our other son is. He was on meth and he disappeared over a year ago. Maybe in this day and age almost everyone's family is broken, so you are not alone in this-even though I know this is no consolation to you.
Thank you for your honest feelings. Please continue to share what you feel led to. Sometimes in speaking our true feelings, God shows us the answer without anyone else's help.
I care about you.
Chris

 

Thank you for responding. I know you’re right. My husband truly is my best friend but, unfortunately I take things out on him for some reason. He doesn’t deserve it. He does lack empathy though. I had a horrible weekend cried most of the time I just couldn’t get my brother and my son off my mind no matter how I tried. It’s kind of funny your name is Chris. That was my brothers name also.

 

How long ago did you lose your son? What is his name?

 

My son would of been 21 on October 15th and his name is Charlie.