My love

Discussion in 'Loss of Spouse' started by Taylor.L, Apr 8, 2017.

  1. Taylor.L

    Taylor.L New Member

    I am 22 years old. I married my absolute best friend June 18, 2016. Two short months later on August 25,2016 my newly wedded husband went home to the Lord after a car accident coming home to me after he got off work. I have been so lost.... we had only been together 3 years before getting married. He was my world. He was 29 when he passed away. Everyday is still a struggle but thankfully I found a grief group. 2 weeks after the accident my family put me in one on one counseling. One month after the accident my family took me to get on medicine, antidepressant/antianxiety. And also sleep medicine. I was so against medicine. But, the day of my husbands wreck was my first day of my senior year of undergraduate college.
    My world flipped upside down. I wanted to quit school so bad but by the grace of God I didn't. And I was passing with As and Bs. Now I am finishing up a 13 week GriefShare group program. And I will be graduating with and undergraduate degree in Speech Language Pathology in May 2017. I plan to attend graduate school but I am beyond scared to make that step without my encouring husband.
    94520.jal.45817 likes this.
  2. Ellen C

    Ellen C Guest

    Dear Taylor:
    My heart breaks for you and I am so very sorry about your husband. It is hard to make sense of such a tragic thing happening, especially at a time that should have been the happiest for you. I can only imagine how devastated you feel. Even though I am much older than you (63), I have had my own share of loss, so I understand the process. I am glad that you and your family realized that you needed help and that you got involved in a bereavement support group and then individual counseling. I have been in and out of therapy for probably the last 30 years or so. It really helps to express your feelings and know that you are heard and understood. I am not a huge fan of anti-depressants, sleep aids and other drugs. I have always felt that they give you a false sense of security and are also addictive. However not everyone is strong enough to deal with their heartbreak without them. I am sure that I've had a lot more practice than you, thankfully so. You may not realize though how strong you already are. You are following your dream and continuing with your education. That in itself takes an awful lot of courage and I admire that. Speech Pathology is a very good field to get into and also very rewarding.

    This may sound like a cliche to you and I mean no disrespect to you or your beloved husband. You are so very young to have experienced this type of loss. I am certain you will miss him for the rest of your life. However trust me when I tell you that the pain will get easier to live with and you will find a way to continue on. I'm sure that's what your husband would have wanted for you. And yes, you will find love again. Maybe not the same as you shared with your husband and best friend, but you will find someone along your way that will love, cherish and appreciate you for the person you are. Just give yourself time to grieve and heal. Focus on you for now and your education. Be with your family and friends who I'm sure love and support you. It's hard, but you've taken the very important first steps.

    Again, I'm very sorry for your loss and I wish you strength in dealing with the pain and peace and comfort in finding your way.

    Take care~ Ellen
  3. LuAnn

    LuAnn New Member

    Yes! Taylor you are so young to have to be going through all of this & remembering how I felt in the beginning of my marriage....I have a great admiration for your will to get better. I too am in Grief Share & it helps to be around people who just "know" & can support you in ways others cannot. Sounds like you have a great family support system & some goals to pursue in life. As far as I'm concerned, medication is a Godsend to help you get through a real Hell on earth....whatever it takes! I also take antidepressants, & sleep meds
    My doctor is Christian as well & I have promised her I would never overdose because I look forward to seeing my husband again in heaven. After all God has the master blueprint!
    Please take care & msg me ANYtime
    94520.jal.45817 and Taylor.L like this.
  4. 94520.jal.45817

    94520.jal.45817 New Member

    Hi LuAnn. I read your reply to Taylor and was moved to reply. I am 55 and a two time widow by the age of 45. You gave great advice to taylor. Iam intrigued by you both having been in griefshare. I havent heard of it before and am wondering how youheard about it.

    Myfirst husband died 30 yrs ago. My second was 9 yrs ago. I dont think mygrieving pocess has been very effective. If it ws. I would not be feeling both lodses as much now as i do. My family was not very supportive either time, and no one ever suggested or helped me find group grief counseling. Im going to look up grief share online and see how i go about getting started. I think its abouttime!

    Thank you for the info and inspiration even tho its after the fact. You never kno when your struggles can be ofhelp to someone else!

    Taylor.L likes this.
  5. Taylor.L

    Taylor.L New Member

    Hey! I first heard about GriefShare through someone in my town posting it on Facebook. My first course was at a church. I am currently going through another round of grief share because my dad passed away from prolonged sickness APRIL 29. So I has been a very hard long 9 months for me since I lost my husband. GriefShare is the only way I have discovered that I'm not crazy. I love my group.