My life changed radically when my husband died 12/30/23.

Discussion in 'Loss of Spouse' started by Stewhele, Feb 2, 2024.

  1. Stewhele

    Stewhele New Member

    I had to be admitted in the hospital when I leaned from the doctor that my precious did not make it. God took him an hour. For my husband, I was thankful to God. He did not suffer like so many do.

    Now I am left on my own… I have never been alone. He was my rock. I continue to have panic attacks since his death. My diagnosis from 5 days in the hospital was Broken Heart Syndrome…a heart event but no blockages but I worry I could have a real attack from all this anxiety from losing my husband and my heart concerns.

    Has anyone ever experienced panic attacks after your loss? What did you do to get over this hurdle?
    Rose69 and MICHAEL2023 like this.
  2. Calilove

    Calilove Member

    Hi, I lost my wife of 18 years. On December 10th of 2023, apparently suicide I still don’t believe that she intended for it to go fully thru with it, she left soo many sings that she was planning her days to come and getting the kids Christmas list together. But it did happened are MY grief is kind of like yours, I get those attacks feels like my head is going to explode my heart hurts my breathing slows, hard to breathe and uncomfortable crying non stop. They last me from a day and a half to 3 days, it’s hard to even leave my room when it happens, I have been paying attention to the pain, when it start to come and it doesn’t get better but it gives me the knowledge I need to help myself. To know what to do, is hard cuz nothing will stop it or take it away, but at least you can cope a lil better. For me talking to ppl helps or coming here and doing just this, helps tremendously. It is my second day in my room. But I feel like I can make it back to the world sometime today, it feels like it’s going away, I also pay attention to how far apart they come, mine come like clockwork every 18 to 20 days apart, just the attacks. The grief lives with me now, every day. The attacks are what is scary at first I didn’t know what was going on, I felt like I was dying of grief and I started doing research on grief brokenhearted syndrome has not been proven, but it is real. The Symptoms of depression and brokenhearted are similar. The pain is still unbelievable. Reach out and talk, that is the best advice I have. It helps me most of the time. And stay busy with your mind, and I check my emails regularly so if you need some to talk to or someone to just listen to you, I’m here. I have lost soo many friends in record time, only ppl that have gone thru or are going thru our grief will be able to understand. No two griefs are the same we all have our own grief that hits us differently, but we can understand each others grief and pain. and I’m sorry for your loss, I can’t promise you that everything will be okay, but I do know that we will get thru it. With a lil bit of help.
  3. MICHAEL2023

    MICHAEL2023 Well-Known Member

    My condolences to both of you for your losses. Please know that you are not alone. There's a whole lot of us that are in pain and grief as well. My grief journey so far has taught me to be kinder to people, because surely, many of them are going through grief as well.

    Bless your hearts.

    ~ Michael
  4. cjpines

    cjpines Well-Known Member

    Cal and Michael, can I ask what part of Calif are you both from? I'm in Northern Calif.

    My name is Karen. I lost my husband of 4O years to cancer. From what you both are experiencing I can testify a broken heart is very bad on your body. I was having dizziness attacks that became worse over a years time. My cardiologist told me grief puts stress on ones heart muscle. Turns out I had blockage and now wearing a pacemaker. I have never had heart problems. So, my advice to you both is beware of what's happening, get help.
    Me I didn't care if I lived or died, ate sugar and carbs, lost 20 lbs, drank every day. I never thought l was in so much stress and shock that would damage my heart. Well, it did.
    So, to let you know profound grief is a killer. Take care of yourselves, you are worth it. Karen

    QUOTE="MICHAEL2023, post: 35490, member: 31271"]My condolences to both of you for your losses. Please know that you are not alone. There's a whole lot of us that are in pain and grief as well. My grief journey so far has taught me to be kinder to people, because surely, many of them are going through grief as well.

    Bless your hearts.

    ~ Michael[/QUOTE]
    Rose69 and Calilove like this.
  5. cjpines

    cjpines Well-Known Member

    My post is to Stewhele also as well as anyone who is experiencing profound physical stress from severe grief. It's been three years for me and the grief has soften. Time does help that. But, I'm still wondering what is my purpose now. I just wake up and say good morning to my husband, help me get through my day. That helps. Thanks for reading and keep the faith you will be ok. Karen
  6. MICHAEL2023

    MICHAEL2023 Well-Known Member

    I'm in Fresno
  7. Calilove

    Calilove Member

    I’m in Oceanside
  8. cjpines

    cjpines Well-Known Member

    I’m in Oceanside[/QUOTE]
    Thank you. I'm between Sacramento and Tahoe in Sierra foothills. It's not very often the last 3 years I've been on this site, that anyone here lives in Calif. Most are in the mid to East Coast.
  9. Calilove

    Calilove Member

    Does the pain from your grief subsides dramatically with time? The dizzyness and fading of vision is the the part that is telling my brain to turn all that to anger. Or maybe it’s the whole process. These attacks are coming more often and I feel like it’s turning me bitter and wanting to push every single person in my life away.
    cjpines and MICHAEL2023 like this.
  10. MICHAEL2023

    MICHAEL2023 Well-Known Member

    I have a long history of panic attacks. I have treated them successfully with medication right up until the day Ed died, they immediately returned with a force I didn't recognize. My old version of panic attacks centered around my fear and breathing, increased heart rate, etc. After Ed died they were more like a car that kept running back and forth over my abdomen every five minutes or so, awful. I can hardly eat anything at the moment. Sadly, the only remedy was to add a new med and increase an old one. I absolutely could not function right now without medication. The plan is to get off the meds, but not quite yet.

    The grief does change over time, it's true, but it will always live with us; in many ways.


    ~ Michael
    Chris M 2000 and cjpines like this.
  11. Sweetcole

    Sweetcole Well-Known Member

    Hey how are you doing? I'm sorry for your loss and the fact that you had to be put in the hospital. Have things been better for you? I use to have panic attacks. They had my chest hurting so bad. I use to take medication for them. I haven't dealt with them in a while. I still feel the soreness in my chest every now and then. I pray you continue to get stronger.
    MICHAEL2023 likes this.