My last five and a half years

Lou, when does the ‘tourist season’ begin near you? A June closure out here would be a loss.
What fun though, to shut down a month to travel…
I’m glad to hear you have a new haunt. Friend in a familiar place soothe the soul. ~B

 

So next week you’ll be hauntless.
If I know you it won’t be hard to find a place to settle in for a few weeks.

 

I say that because you seem the kind of man Kenn would love to have around. Kenn was older than you by several years but you appreciate much of the same music and familiar places. I think you mentioned you weren’t an extrovert at one time? Kenn had such an easy way with people, introducing them to the regulars, making sure to brag about the new musicians. All the way up until this last summer he was still making the rounds. ~B

 

Bernadine, before I met Linda, I would go
to a bar, & perhaps talk with the person
next to me. I was lonely, & thought I
would meet a woman in a bar. Once in a
while, I would, but she would turn out to
have more problems than I did. My
judgement was faulty, bc of my drinking.
When I met Linda, we were both sober, &
had an immediate attraction. Later, we
would sit at a bar and have dinner &
drinks, and I felt much more relaxed than
I did when I was single. When Linda
died, I started drinking more, but 2 years
after she died, I became MORE depressed
& my grief counselor suggested I stop
drinking. I did, in Nov, 2020. I miss it once
in a while, on a dark, rainy day. but haven't
given in to temptation. I feel healthier &
enjoy meeting people & being with my
friends. Live music brings us together.
Kenn is more like my new friend, Dick,
a drummer, who's married. He is an
extrovert who isn't shy about introducing
people to each other. My favorite season
starts in May.& runs through the summer.
Lou

 

Your description sounds so much like what happened to my best friend, wife, and soulMate partner Valerie. She died a year ago. I remember all those nights her throwing up black cancer juice... I'd rub her back and talk silly nonsense. She couldn't eat. They removed the tumor one summer. It was so huge. It grew back even bigger. I hated seeing her suffer. Radiation just tortured her. It did nothing. Chemo! Useless! they made her take three treatments... just made her sicker. I amj so sad. I feel for you!

 

Y'know Lou after a good day Monday I'm starting to sink back into the mess. I know I'll kick MG in the ass but it is so hard. Arctic cold here again. It is 15 degrees! I am so weary. I wish you peace and warmth my brotha

 

George, all TGW pray that you can have
some peace & serenity. The Deb believes
that you & the rest of us will feel better
after this suck winter. Do you still want to
post your art work? Lou

 

I do want to. First I need to finish it. Take a pic. Upload pics to Computer machine than make sure it is at a good resolution than upload to GIC. Sounds overwhelming. But if you are interested I will definitely post it!

 

Man. that sounds like too much work,
George. I'd wait 'til you feel less
overwhelmed. Lou

 

Took the pics part its just finding the cable to connect camera to computer that's thwarting me

 

Dear Jen,
I’ve been MIA for awhile with this virus but been dropping
Into GIC, to read, glad to know Helena, Debra, others have connected
with “TGW Family” here at GIC. I reread your four posts,I hope you
will get my posting and all other folks. Jen, may I ask name of your husband?
Please stay with GIC “The Grief Warrior Family”
Deb,Lou,Karen, Gary,Lou,Rick,Chad,George,Mary,Robin,Bernadine,
Debra, Helena, and ALL others.
All that you felt, while caring now feel for your beloved husband is
that which I experienced while caring for my dear Jack, and afterwards
it’s one of the hardest times in a persons life.
Jen, after God called my husband to Heaven, it took me years my
mind kept reliving over and over constantly those years of taking care of him,
his horrible sufferings. It’s a blessing to get beyond that, push forward.
I felt Jesus carrying me through the journey then,
I knowHE is carrying me now & through the rest of what life, God has yet for me.
From the very first time I heard of the Serenity Prayer, it’s words had a profound
meaning to me, I believe anyone that wants to can apply it in one’s life, through all
situations in our daily life
I truly hope to connect with you again and that you are reading everyone’sm posts.
Lifting you in my prayers Jen, along with everyone here. I’ll be back and active
as soon as I’m over this virus.
Blessings, Patti
PS I want to thank everyone that’s been praying for
my friend Scarlett, she’s home, had Great improvement,
however, she is still left with some effects from the strokes.

 

Dear Patti, today is exactly one month since my Geoff left me an I just can't imagine your Jack left you 5 years an 2 months. For me one month feels like an eternity. There will never come a day that I don't miss him, he always be the best friend I have ever had, I was lucky enough to have him, I will love him forever and for as long as I live, his memory will survive. He left me with an aching heart, a heart so wounded that will take long time to heal.
I really hope that you recover very soon of whatever virus is lingering in the air, please take care.
Helena

 

Debra,

Thank you so much for the virtual hugs. I can NEVER!!! get enough of them!!!, TU!!! I'm very glad you have decided to stick around and are now officially part of TGW (Lou, one of my friends came up with this name for our group, and it fits us so perfectly... We are warriors fighting a seemingly never ending battle with Mr. Grief, Karen, another GIC friend referred to grief in this way, and once again, it fits us so well, that we are now officially known as TGW battling Mr. Grief. I've been MIA for awhile, and this message is only the second one I've read today, plus with this foggy widow brain, I don't remember if you already knew what the letters TGW stand for, or why we refer to grief as Mr. Grief.), TU!!! (Total understatement, one of the things I've been saying for so many years, for so long on GIC too, that it has grown way past stale..., but I can't stop saying it.)

Walking is one of my very favorite ways to keep Mr. Grief from suffocating me. During the coldest times this winter (TGW who live in other parts of the country where it's really been COLD!!!, if they read this, are probably laughing at me, but it's okay!!!, I'm originally from New England, so I know what COLD!!! really feels like. However, having lived in SC since the beginning of 2018, I quickly got used to the warmer temperatures. Now anything anywhere near fifty degrees is way past FREEZING!!!, TU!!!), I wasn't motivated enough to put on my walking shoes and hit the pavement. Now that the weather has improved, it feels like a combination of spring/summer already, I'm determined to get back into my daily walks. I love being outside..., getting some fresh air and sunshine..., enjoying Nature..., taking full advantage of all the beauty God created.

By the time I made it outside today, the temperature had almost hit eighty, plenty of sunshine, plus enough wind to cool me down. I saw life all around me... baby turtles, sitting four in a row, on a log, blue herons wading in shallow streams, standing still, like statues, patiently waiting for their lunch to swim close enough to catch, white egrets... skimming the lagoons, taking off, flying high into the sky..., and for the first time this year, I saw two beautiful yellow butterflies, one at the beginning of my walk, and one on the way back home. The first one seemed to appear out of nowhere, and flew on my right side, about shoulder high for about half a block before flying higher and higher into the sky, until it disappeared from sight. I saw the second one slightly ahead of me sitting on a tree limb, it flew out of the tree, and flew once again, to the right of me, before crossing over my right shoulder, flying by my face, flying to the left of me, crossing the road, before vanishing from sight. I believe the butterflies were a sign from Bob, letting me know he's watching over me, here with me... Seeing the first yellow butterfly made me smile... When I saw the second one, my spirits were instantly lifted... I felt a wonderful sense of calm..., happy to be able to enjoy such a beautiful summer like day, in February. I hope you and your girls are able to enjoy some long walks too.

Backing up just a bit, while I was walking, I thought about so many things, how Bob would want me to be happy..., how I don't want to spend the rest of my life so miserable..., existing in a "beige" world..., but not fully living. (Lou's wife, Linda, used to use the word "beige" to describe boring, bland, etc., etc., etc.... Lou shared this, one of Linda's many sayings, with us, and I've been using it ever since. Love it!!!) I don't believe that we are still on this earth just to be miserable!!!, TU!!! Life is a gift..., life is so precious..., and as all of us sadly know, can be taken away from us, at any moment. I am trying so hard to follow the advice in Tom Zuba's books, trying so hard to say "yes" to new adventures..., "yes" to new opportunities, rather than continuing to say "no," and remain tormented 24/7 by Mr. Grief. This, sadly, is a daily struggle..., but and this is a really BIG BUT!!!, today, I did what Lou had to the other morning, I said F*CK OFF!!! to Mr. Grief, and refused to let him ruin this very beautiful day. (I hope you can make sense of what I've just written. Once I get going, I can't seem to stop, and I end up writing what could probably end up as the world's longest run on sentences. However, George, one of TGW, has forgiven me, has forgiven all of us for grammatical errors. Thank you, George!!! When I get going, the words just seem to type themselves, and most of the time I don't reread my messages before posting them.)

I better stop here, have lots more catching up to do....

As always, sending you lots of hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

Hope today you've been able to escape that way too tight a grasp Mr. Grief has on all of us, even if just for a little while.

As always, sending you hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

Karen,

As always, you expressed your feelings so beautifully... I agree with every word. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts, and for getting me to think about this in a new way.

Sending you and Rambo lots of hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

Helena,

I'm so very happy you're sticking with us and have officially become one of TGW!!!, TU!!! As I recently said to Debra, thank you so much for all those cyber hugs, I can NEVER!!! get enough of them, TU!!!

Finding this site, was one of the very best things I did to help myself after Bob died. I know I'm a stronger and better person because of TGW, their advice, courage, willingness to "talk" openly about the very worst moments in their entire lives, their support, friendship, and sense of humor too. Yes!!! get to "know" us, we're always not so serious, just the picture of doom and gloom. Sometimes the best way to fight Mr. Grief, is to share a laugh or two with TGW. I think it was Lou who recently said something like, we need our sense of humor, wait..., scrap this. This foggy widow brain SUCKS!!!, TU!!! I don't remember exactly what he said, but I know how it had something to do with the fact that it's so necessary for us to be able to smile..., to laugh... If we lose our ability to do so, Mr. Grief will suffocate all of us. There is NO!!! way will will let Mr. Grief win this battle!!!, TU!!!

Got to stop here, phone rang, it's one of my very closest friends from "home." I miss her so very much... I told her I would call her back within a couple minutes.

As always, sending you lots of hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

Karen when you told us what happened to your friend who suppressed her grief it made me think of a friend who’s cousin lost his wife suddenly. He drank excessively for two years. Last week he stabbed himself in the stomach multiple times causing infection to spread through his body. He is still alive but his chances are slim. Gary

 

Lou I figured out why I thought you looked like a ship’s captain. I used to eat at a seafood restaurant in Battle Creek Michigan a lot 15 years ago. The name of the place was Captain Louie’s. Excellent seafood. Gary

 

You getting back into your art made me start making hiking sticks again. I’m going to make 4 at the same time instead of one at a time. I started watching tv when I’m on the bed doing my stretches. I’ve been watching thePBS channel. Believe it or not. I started watching cartoons. I like Arthur the best. Believe it or not it does boost my mood. PBS has educational cartoons that aren’t whacked out like the rest. I like to see the kids explain what they are doing. I’m actually learning something.

 

Deb I loved the description of your hike. I felt like I was right there with you. I can’t wait to see butterflies. Thanks. Gary