I agree it does seem unbearable, but I want you to know, that God can support you and strengthen you because He did so for me after our son's suicide. Cry out to God with your honest feelings and also share with us here. We care about you. Chris
I lost my 25 year old daughter in a car accident on 12-10-2020. I had her when I was 22 and she was everything to me. I have always been treated like an outsider in my own family. Having her was the best thing that ever happened to me. I got married when she was almost 5 and I had two boys who I love very much but Keianna was my best friend she and I had a fantastic relationship. The man I married went from being a loving husband to a cruel husband and father. He knew I wasn’t going to leave because he was wealthy and I would not be able to get custody of my boys so I stayed. It was basically just the four of us as he ran around going out taking trips whatever he wanted. I found out he was cheating on me and my daughter started to cut herself and drinking to numb her pain because he was so mean to her. I moved her to Florida to get her away from him and she became a happy funny beautiful girl. I wish I had went with her but he had taken away any self esteem or self worth I had. I was a loser I was the punch line to his jokes. She came home for Christmas and he was being rude as usual so she went to visit friends. She said she couldn’t be around him. That night at 3:30 the police and coroner were at my door. She rolled her care and died on impact. I was devastated and in shock the funeral home ask for 20 pics for a video but I couldn’t. I don’t hardly remember the service other than she looked beautiful. Acouple months later I watched the video and it was one pic of the family one pic of her with her brothers and 18 pictures of him with her he had cropped everyone else out. Not one picture of me with my baby. His mom didn’t even come to the service and she sent me a card that said having a bad day buy cute boots and dance in the rain. I have been a good person my whole life I have been there for my mom paid my sisters bills paid my brothers bills and donated bone marrow that saved his life. I have had the same hair dresser for twenty years. My husband took off and disappeared for 47 days I think on drugs. I have spent the last two years completely alone. I have no one people don’t care and everyday it gets harder to go on. One son is married and lives in Georgia the other is in college and lives with his girlfriend. I’m just so tired of missing her and being alone. I still cry everyday. I just don’t understand why
I am so sorry to hear your story. It is heartbreaking. The cruelty you describe is unbearable. My daughter was 33, happy, healthy and wise. She was beautiful, intelligent and kind. She was a perfect child and my best friend. I still ask myself: why did she suddenly collapse and die of pulmonary embolism? No-one in our families has ever had that. It's hard to accept. My heart is still broken. I will be 70 in March and in April, she will have been gone for 12 years. Time has stood still for me. It feels like only yesterday that she opened my door and said: Hi mom!
I'm sorry for everyone's loss on this thread. Losing a child is so difficult. My daughter Milo, (Megan) passed from fentanyl poisoning November, 4th 2022. She was 28. We were working together to get her sober from heroin and crack. I lost both parents 14 years ago to substance abuse as well. The difference is like night and day and my parents passing was the most difficult thing for me to deal with until her drug use began. I felt suffocated like I was on fire, now that the fire is out I feel dead. Like a ghost in my body moving around and not knowing why. I miss you so much, Megan. Best wishes and prayers for all of us suffering, and to those suffering from loss... you are not alone.
We are not alone. We're all suffering in ways we never knew possible. I feel sad now when I see happy couples because I know what one of them is going to suffer when the other passes. But then I'm usually reminded by that Angel on my shoulder that there's so much pain because the love was so great! How can all these feelings be felt at once? I'm not sure I'm enough to hold it all... ~ Michael
I am so sorry for your loss and I can hear the heartbreak in your post. Your loss came with no warning and that is so hard. I understand about the 12 years because that is the time it took for me to be able to begin functioning "normally" again. Don't give up hope that it can become better for you. I kept holding onto God knowing that He would bring me through the nightmare and He did. With some of us it is a much longer process than for others. The longing for our loved one never leaves us, but we are able to continue on by the grace of God.
I am sorry for the loss of your beloved daughter. My opinion is that losing a child is one of the most difficult things in life to cope with. Maybe that feeling you are having of being dead and like a ghost in your body moving around is the empty place that your daughter held. Something precious has been taken from you so unexpectedly, and it is no wonder your feel dead and empty. It is a great shock and devastating. I think our feeling of being dead is God's protection for us until we are able to cope with the awful thought that our child is gone and we will no longer see them here in this life. It is too much of a shock to be able to accept all at once-it could destroy us. So it comes to us gradually bit by bit until we can accept that this really happened to us. It doesn't mean you can never see your child again. Jesus came that we might have everlasting life. By accepting that by faith, your life can again have some meaning. I know the great longing you feel, and I believe I will see my son again at the end of this age. Chris
