I lost my son September 8 2018, One Saturday morning I was sitting having coffee when I rejected a call I initially didn't recognize...then thought that it must be my son's friend who was pregnant with his child. (Not his girlfriend) I check my voice-mail and to my horror it is her telling me my son was dead....a voice-mail...she left me a message... My son and I struggled with our relationship as I fought him hard on the path that he had chosen...we had been trying to fix it...and then he was gone.... I had sent him a message the night before asking if he was alright...he answered that he wasn't...but sent it when I was asleep...I didn't wake up...I didn't hear his message...it was the last thing he sent or said to anyone...and I was asleep... The day he died was the worst day of my life...a nightmare of slow motion horror memories... I know so many of you have similar situations I just feel so lost