I had the privilege of being with my mother when she passed. For the last 4 years I have been traveling to Little Rock once a month to stay with her for at least 4 to 5 days to help her cook and do things around the house for the last 4 years. She remarried 6 years ago, and her husband is like a father to me. At first she was on oxygen at night, and then it became a 24 hour ordeal. I bought her a dehumidifier and it helped. She kept losing weight. I worried constantly. With my brother being a pulmonary doctor, I relied on him for advice. My father passed away with COPD, but he requested the morphine drip. I trekked to Little Rock on Dec. 22nd. I had stayed with her and Pop (my step-father) for a week at Thanksgiving. On the way my step-father called me and said they were taking mom to the hospital. I really wasn't worried since I knew she had a cold, and she was taking antibiotics and prednisone. Prednisone had become a daily ritual. Torrential rain was in Arkansas. Water got up to my car door on the back roads on my way. I finally got to the hospital. She was in good spirits on Friday in the emergency room waiting for a room in the critical care unit. This was on a Friday. On Saturday the respiratory therapists were using several oxygen masks. They were too forceful and large for mom. We got a room in critical care unit. A team of doctors came in every 5 hours and asked the same stupid questions like how long did she smoke, how long has she not smoked, what meds was she on, etc. At 4 p.m. I told Pop to go home. He had been there over 24 hours. Mom received breathing treatments often. I was so used to seeing her suffer. She slept on and off. I held her hand. I told her it was going to be okay. Her vital signs were improving. They were still trying to find a bi-pap mask to fit her. She was having trouble getting in sync with the machine. I will never forget the look on her face when she passed. It was horrific. I was by myself with her. No one passes peacefully. Apparently she was unable to exhale. So she died from carbon monoxide poisoning. She passed away one day before her 80th birthday on Dec. 23rd, 2017. I don't know why I was the one who had to be there, but I was. I loved my mother. I miss her everyday. I used to call her twice a day. I live in Louisiana. Her dog used to sleep with her, but since Mom passed, the dog won't go in the bed. Pop is doing ok even though this his second wife he has lost. I miss talking and seeing my mom She told me she would try to guide me. She always believed in not waiting for the storm, but dancing in the rain. Since she has passed, i find myself becoming more like her: organized, neat, aware, full of pride. I love you mom. Thank you for all you have done for me. Your baby girl, Joy
Sorry to hear about the loss of your mother. As horrible as it was for you, at least you were there with her. Many people die alone. I lost my mother suddenly in May. She went to bed one night and I found on on the floor the next morning. I feel horrible that I did not not hear anything and that she spent her last hours lying on the floor.
I am sorry for your loss. I know how you feel. Stay busy! Write her a letter. I don't understand all of this. She knew you loved her. Mothers know. God Bless you. Thank you for your comforting words.
Your mom knows you loved her then and love her still. She probably also knew you didn't hear her fall because if you had, you certainly would have been there. She knows. My sincere sympathy to you
