I posted a few weeks ago that I was about to lose my sister. She passed on Father's Day, one day before her 61th wedding anniversary. I honestly thought that I was ready for this as I went through an even longer time before my husband passed. I was not ready. We are never ready and one death close to you does not prepare your for another. I expected this to happened but I am such a control freak I was determined to see to it that she would not be afraid and would not feel pain. Well, we can't always have what we want. I didn't get what I wanted but I understand that I could not control everything. I wanted so much to comfort her and for a while she would not let me, but eventually she did and it was a gift to me. It was an honor to care for her but I feel like I am starting all over. It has been 4 1/2 years since I lost my husband and I was almost feeling normal. This is quite a setback. I may never feel normal again. We were 4 years apart but many years ago she stopped having birthdays and I did not, so she told people I was actually older. People always mistake me for her. She was a local politician and I was frequently mistaken for her...it was an honor and I loved it. I just said "thank you." I have to remember how I handled this early grief the last time and try desperately to make it work for he again. I know losing the love of your life is probably the most difficult, but a sibling is blood with a long history and it hurts in a different and deeper way. I know this forum is here for me and I appreciate each one of you., just knowing you are available.