Missing Dad...and Mom

Discussion in 'Coping After a Sudden Loss' started by ali65, Dec 20, 2022.

  1. ali65

    ali65 Member

    My dad died suddenly in June from a heart attack, and I can't move on. When he died, i packed a bag & went there to be with my mom. I haven't been home since. Soon after his passing, her cardiac problems worsened, and i became her caregiver. They were married for 62 years.Now, she's been diagnosed with dementia & I'm trying to transition her to assisted living, which she is refusing to do Involuntarily, i've been given POA and HCP - hate the responsibilities. They're just too big. My sister has significant problems & is not able to help, other than being needy and instigating conflict. She is also from out of state, but hasn't left. We fight every day.

    So much happening and i cant manage it all. So many details not included here. It's all such an enormous weight ...not many friends in the area.

    How can i possibly get past this? Can't sustain this or do it all. Im so displaced -- emotionally, literally, psychologically. In therapy (new therapist) weekly,but it's just not enough. Don't know what to do. Losing 1 parent is hatd enough. Witnessing the gradual loss if the other is agonozing. Pretty...no, very scared.
  2. Whittysmom

    Whittysmom New Member

    I can relate to you in many ways .. somewhat different grief though. My live in boyfriend of 6 yrs. to Covid and I didn't get to see him b4 he died in hospital. also there wad no burial, or family get together that involved me. I went thru 3 hospital stays for depression and anxiety related issues due to his death mostly. I'm so sad he's gone, that I never didn't get to tell him I loved him. I'm trying to move on..however life doesn't seem as special to me now that he's gone. I live with my elderly mom now and it's rough there too dealin with an aging parent. I dont know how to stop.missing my loved one.
  3. ali65

    ali65 Member

    I'm so sorry to hear about what you've gone and are going thru, and you're right, our feelings of grief are beyond overwhelming. Life is forever different. I'm putting trust into everyone who says that I (and you) will get through this.