Miss you buddy

Discussion in 'Suicide Loss' started by Nes, Nov 29, 2016.

  1. Nes

    Nes New Member

    We had met at a hospital when we both were trying to get help with our depression.
    we became best friends since then, we were like brother and sister told each other how we really felt without any judgement. I was recently hospitalized so I wasn't in touch with him for a bit. He had ask me to meet few times but I was deeply depressed and wouldn't leave the house so I kept postponing it, he was always so supportive but I failed him, I didn't see the signs I wasn't there when he really needed me.
    I got a text from his mom wanting to meet, I was so nervous I really thought she didn't want me to be his friend anymore that I was a bad influence or something or maybe he run away and wanted to ask me in person where he went, the worst thing I thought that he might've attempted something and went back to the hospital but never that news ever. I don't think I really fully believe it yet that he's gone. He texted me the day he passed and I didn't see it.
  2. griefic

    griefic Administrator Staff Member

    Nes, thank you for sharing your story. I am so sad for your loss and for all that you have gone through personally.
    I find most grievers carry some guilt after someone they love has died. It can be for any number of different reasons, but I think the guilt is our brain's way of rebelling against the idea that we didn't have control over the situation.
    Because that's what a loss like this does - it takes away our feelings of power and control and can leave us feeling absolutely helpless.
    It will take time to work through this, and it will take the support of people who can understand. I'm glad that you have found our site and I truly hope that it is a help to you. I wish you all the best...
  3. LauRae

    LauRae Member

    Sorry about your buddy, Nes. I do know how it feels because it happened to me.

    Still trying to forgive myself for not being there. I know it wasn't my fault. It was his choice. But I couldn't help him one time he reached out to me.

    You aren't completely alone, Nes.