Merry Christmas

Bernadine, I love how you express things. (Sweet memories & salty tears.) My husband, Jack, and I loved the blues, our favorite. In fact he has 6 boxes of records that I'm going through mostly Blues, Country, Classical and Rock guitar. I found out some of his Beatles records go way back and worth a lot of money. Jack had records he kept before we got married.
Merry Christmas whatever you do or not do, let's hope for a better new year for peace. K

 

Thanks Bernadine for the LMSO(laugh my sad off) in regards to finding the ho hos near the ding dongs with family. The elk skin hoop drum makes me wonder if you and Kenn attended many Native American Pow Wows. After my second divorce I had to walk away from the church knowing I still needed direction. After reading the myth by the Blackfeet Indians “The Buffalo Dance” my spiritual journey took a new turn. I attended many Pow Wows and they were pretty popular until the economic meltdown in 2008. I was intrigued how the Native Americans honored the animal kingdom with all the sacred objects. Any way I found a new trail to follow. I began to see the earth as divine our Great Earth Mother. Have you read the series of The Clan of The Cave Bear? Lou I’m glad I gave you a LMSO. Lou thanks for telling the romantic story of your first date with Linda. That is so cool. Our brother and sister TGW really really love our mates. I’m glad you’re taking good care of yourself eating and sleeping and staying inside when the weather is bad. And I’ve noticed how you pace yourself. If you have a busy day the next will probably be a low key day. Karen I was thinking the same thing about us all having to tear into a Snickers Bar to enhance our moods because we aren’t acting ourselves. As the saga continues. TGW reconciling with Mr Grief. Gary

 

That's wonderful, Bernadine, that you &
Kenn went to blues jams, and he played
the trumpet, which seems like a hard
instrument to play. I loved Louis
Armstrong, and the effort and joy he
brought to his music. Recently, I saw a
pianist, about my age, play many songs,
by ear, without reading sheet music. I
went up to him at the end, and half
jokingly told him I wished I didn"t
quit playing the piano ( classical, like
Chopin). He laughed & pointed to his
head, and said "you still have it in HERE"!
He's right that I have a deep appreciation
for music, not just piano, but for brass,
and strings . Going to a local cafe at
lunchtime to hear live music, has fed my
soul. The cafe will be closed Christmas
weekend, but I look forward to going
again. I have a new married friend, and
we talk about everything, from my
being a widower. to the many famous
musicians who Linda & I were able to
see. He plays the drums, & sometimes
joins the other musicians. Last time, he
brought his blues harp & sang "Stormy
Monday", which fit my mood. Lou

 

Karen, Linda & I loved the blues, too! My
fantasy is that you & Jack, Linda & I,
could cheer on Kenn & Bernadine at
one of Kenn's gigs. Lou

 

Thank you, Gary, about saying you liked
hearing my story of how Linda & I met.
She had a sixth sense. She told me later
that when she saw my kind eyes & smile,
she knew I would be her husband. I was
slower on the uptake, bc we lived
together for 3 years. One day, in a
restaurant, she jokingly accused me of
having "cold feet". We were in our mid
40s, and decided to "elope"to Las Vegas,
bc we didn't want our toxic parents at
our small wedding. We got married in
a simple chapel, on New Year's Day, 1996.
Thank you again, Gary, for letting me
tell this happy memory. Lou

 

:Your fantasy will happen when we all meet our maker in the songs of the heavens.

 

Together and individually we have attended many ceremonies. I started but did not finish the first book in that particular series. Although our studies and practices are varied we are observant of Gaia and her gifts, the natural rhythms, cycles and honoring all life. My garden is my participation in the caretaking of the earth we are all blessed to live on. Our song, our music, our stories, groans, laughter and tears are offered and tended here.
Our drums were cut from the same skin during a drum making retreat, when one is played the other often echos….

 

I quite agree.

 

Karen, Like Lou, what you said brought tears for me too. I also cry for you going through so much and so close together. It’s making me feel sick because I can just imagine the torture you felt and are feeling. Yes I am lucky I had conversations with Ron. One conversation was a month before he passed. My cousin passed away and like Ron it was very sudden, here one minute gone the next. After he passed away one day while we were working I mentioned what would I do with everything in our shop if he should pass. We were preparing for retiring and trying to clean up and toss things already. He said don’t worry about any of it. Toss it all or sell but don’t worry about it. I asked what were we keeping when we retire. We had an upholstery shop, he said each of our sewing machines and some of the tools and the leather. So that’s what I kept. But if we didn’t have that conversation who knows what I would have kept. The sewing machines I know I would have kept. Parting with any of it was hard. It was our home away from home. I remember so clearly walking into our shop the first time after Ron passed and seeing where he put down the last things he was working on. Seeing his shears, and tape measure on his work table. I couldn’t touch any of it, too painful. While cleaning up I saw under his circular saw in the saw dust he used his finger and made a heart. He had put RLC+RLC in the heart and forever under it. I think he was waiting for me to see it. We took a picture when we found it. And yes we have the same initials. Ok making me cry. Not sure how I got so off tangent. But yes mourning is such a long journey and always changing. We do get stronger as we go through this nightmare, that I can share. The love and loss stay with us but you get more smiles when thinking of memories and you’re able to smile more in your daily life with less guilt. It happens so slow you don’t realize until one day you think, hey I’m crying less, feeling a little less vulnerable. Still have mountains and valleys but they become less steep and deep slowly. Sorry this got so long but I’m leaving it in case anything here might help you or anyone else. If it gives hope to anyone reading it then I’m happy.
Keep working towards better days, they will happen. Robin

 

Well Gary I woke up to some snow this morning. Looks so pretty! It’s less then an inch and it looks like my area is getting rain tomorrow. I’m ok with that. Snow might look Christmasy but it’s work I’m not up for. Love your sign off. May the force be with you. Ron would love that. But as a super Star Trek fan he’d probably say, Live Long and Prosper! Robin

 

Wow that is so cool like all the little red hearts she left for me to find... I'm pretty messed up lately. Day-by-day moment by moment... Merry Christmas

 

Yes! Very cool! Finding that heart, stopped me in my tracks. Cried a river and had to go home. But now I feel the love, and it becomes avspecial moment bstrangevhow that happens. And all the hearts you found. So special. Sorry you’re feeling so messed up. But to be expected sadly. I’m glad you have your son and his GF to help you through. The losses are all so hard but the holidays add so much more. Hour by hour if that’s what your up to. Don’t push to do too much, and thank you! I wish you a peaceful day and the best Christmas possible right now. I got snow during the night. It made me smile. I thought it was done but still snowing. I’m staying in. There’s warning that it’s slippery.
Take care, Robin

 

Good news, Robin, is that I slept through
the night, after comforting talks with TGW.
Bad news is that I'm an emotional mess
on this cold Christmas Eve day. Linda
preferred Christmas Eve to Christmas
Day. We played the classic music of
Sinatra, Nat King Cole, Eartha Kitt (we
liked her version of the Santa song, better
than the imitaters). In her memory, I
played Blue Christmas , which fits my
mood. I woke up early & checked in with
GIC, but there was no one there yet. It's
always good to see you on here, talking
with Karen. I miss Deb,but I'm happy for
her that she's going on a week long trip,
bittersweet without Bob, today. I cried
all the way through your reply to
Karen. Ron's initials really got to me.
Linda & I had a talk one day. She did not
want to be buried in the prepaid plot
with her parents, who caused us so
much pain & needless financial hardship.
I hated hearing it, but she insisted that
she wanted to be cremated. After Linda
died, I kept my promise. Now, at least,
I can see her memorial every day, inside
the warmth of my apartment, and try to
derive strength from her presence. Lou

 

Thank you! I didn't realize how painful this would be. Just have to remember to be kind to myself.

 

George, I told Gary last night that I was
worried about you, bc I don't think you
wrote a post early yesterday am, like you
usually do. I feel needy today, and I'm
crying a lot for Linda. Like Robin ( and
Mary, ( Mary 0128), this is the 4th
Christmas without Linda. Thank God
for my friends, TGW. Lou

 

I have been pretty "out of it" overall. Not surprised. I can't even cry.

 

Most definitely. We put ourselves last on the list. We need to stop that. You’re important George. We all are.

 

That is great news! So happy for you! And believe it or not, I slept until 7:15 this morning. Months since I’ve slept that late. When working we set our alarm for 7:15! I love how you’re honoring Linda with music you both enjoyed together. I’m sorry it’s such an emotional day for you, the holidays went from the most special times to misery when we lost our partners. I’m so glad Linda told you her feelings on being buried next her parents. I have a lot I could be buried in by my parents. My parents were the most loving caring people. But Ron wanted to be cremated and I’m thankful like you mention to have him here with me to talk to daily. This probably sounds crazy but I’m very claustrophobic and neither choices were something I could choose. I told Ron if I went first he chooses. Well he was taken first. His choice was cremation. So that’s my choice. And have told my daughter if possible I’d like our ashes together. Wow! I said it. Cremation. I’m claustrophobic thinking about it. But I want to be with Ron. I miss Deb on here too. But I believe she’s doing the right thing for her. I’m praying that when she’s back and writes about this trip she feels she did the right thing. You’ll get through today and feel better once it’s past. And you have a community of people here TGW and GIC here to help you through. Sending love and hugs! Robin

 

Thank you so much for answering &
comforting me, Robin, as always. I will
have to do a will at some point, bc I
would want my ashes to be with Linda's
memorial. A woman who's like a daughter
to me, and "adopted" me, and had me sit
at her Thanksgiving table, would get my
worldly goods, and be asked to do that
for me ( she doesn't know this yet). Lou

 

Robin thank you for your inspirational post. I’m glad you’re not getting all that snow. I love the story of the two hearts in the sawdust. I make canes and hiking sticks with antler handles. I’m planning on selling some on Facebook market place after the first of the year. Lou the ticker is moving so we will all get through this. I’m sorry Mr Grief has decided to hang out with you a while. Lou thanks for being the great communicator of TGW. You welcome new people and encourage us when we reach out to others. You ask the right questions and keep the discussion moving. Plus you have so many similar experiences to share with us. George it’s good to see you back too. I was concerned about you too. I hope our other Brothers Rick Chad and Tom will talk with us soon. Even though I’m not a Christmas person the aloneness is affecting me. I had to resolve a bill on the phone yesterday and had to explain the number that was canceled was Cheryl’s phone. Long story short I talked with this man off and on over a hour. He was so kind to me telling me not to be alone on Christmas and was very encouraging. His kindness made me cry. I just realized Cheryl and I just came out of isolation because of the pandemic one month before Cheryl passed. Before that Cheryl and I had a lot of closeness which I’m very grateful for. I’m getting used to having daily conversations with Cheryl in her non physical form. Peace. Gary