Lost

George, I see you are the one to start the craze of nicknames. You are good at it. And the names have continued to evolve and evolve into more silliness. Thanks. Ms Hum!

 

Thank you so much Lou for calling me a star, I am honored. I'm so glad I enlightened your morning and gave you comfort, now you also have cheered up my evening with all your praise.
Grazie.
Rose.

 

You're welcome, Rose. In a strange way,
you, Karen, DEB, and other widows ,
have become my "soulmates". I can say,
with certainty, that Linda would've loved
all of you. Lou

 

Thanks Ms. H. Just don't feel really silly right now. I don't know what's wrong with me again. Maybe cuz I'm reaching the 2 year mark and I'm so depressed and uninterested in much of anything. Just need to ride out this phase I guess. I tied doing some art:

 

Thank you, brother George Lombardo,
for your colorful art, even though your
spirit is gray & blah right now. I know
from personal experience that the 2 year
mark after Linda's death was especially
painful. I was drinking too much,
staying out late, not sleeping well, and
feeling very alone, hopeless. depressed &
missing Linda constantly. My grief
counselor let me sob in her home/ office,
and suggested I give up drinking, which
I did. I feel better physically and mentally
now, after 4 yrs, than I did at 2. But, as I've
said on GIC before, I still cry for Linda
every morning. My spirits improve when
I go out for breakfast & sit at a counter,
talking with the owner/ cook , waitresses,
and customers. The owner sees me, and
plays Sinatra music for The Godfather.

 

Good mornings LouBster. I just can't seem to pull myself together lately. I wish I could sob uncontrollably. I feel so blank inside. I feel such utter nothingness. My life consists of driving through cold drizzle to and from dialysis. I am just so un-into anything. I'm sure this is just a dreary phase I must weather and be patient and live through. It's just so hard! Take care my friend!

 

Bro Geo, you are the Ultimate Grief
Warrior ( UGW). None of us can begin to
imagine suffering through dialysis on top
of horrible grief over the deaths of our
soulmates. I know a Vietnam veteran,
whose wife died. He has a Purple Heart,
bc he was wounded severely in the war.
He's on dialysis. He's the bravest , funniest
man I know. Whenever he sees me, he asks
if he can have one of my kidneys, and the
other veteran friends laugh when Ilook shocked & ask him if he's Hannibal
Lecter. Then,I say he'd be better off
with a less damaged kidney from a
younger person. Lobsterino

 

Georgester, it's okay to feel crappy at 2 year mark and any mark. I still feel like you do from time to time mostly uninterested in much. I do get worried about myself because I'm becoming recluse not wanting to leave my home. Once in awhile I get a glimpse of who I am, who I used to be, the way I used to feel, then it's gone. The silliness may be a mask for my true feelings, but for moments I can smile and sometimes laugh. If that's all that gets me through my days, so be it.
And, George, if your art is all that gets you through your days, so be it. Hang on to whatever you can to get through and if you have glimpses of yourself that come then fade you know your still alive somewhere inside you. That's how I feel.
Your art is an expression of YOU. It's part of who you are. Cherish it. I've been meaning for months to tell you what your art feels like to me. I see a Kaleidoscope in many of your works. I look at the colors, forms and my eyes see a Kaleidoscope. Soothing. You have blessed us here with your art, so if nothing else means anything to you -- it does to us. Ms H.

 

Thank you so much Humster! I just find it super hard to get interested or passionate about anything lately. Even to do art. I feel like this is just a phase that will probably pass once the sun comes out again. Winter is too long and brutal, and it hasn't even been that cold. But I hear arctic air and snow is coming... great! (not!)
So glad to hear some good things about my art... Thankee again!

 

Okay, Georgster you made my first laugh today. Humster.

 

Hello everyone,
I appreciate all of your conversations and supportive encouragement of each other. This world would be incredibly lonely if we didn’t have each other to talk to.
I have to admit that I can’t keep up with all of the nicknames!

Mine maybe should be Ms. Fool. I am well into my 50s, and working to finish my masters degree and add a third teaching license. Another way of saying it is that I’m an overconfident fool. Tired, overwhelmed and too late!! Oh well. Love and hugs to all of you in your journeys and healing and better days! ❤️. Deb (Ms. Fool)

 

Deb, don't be too hard on yourself, by
calling yourself, Ms. Fool, a put down.
Perhaps "Teacher" would be better, bc
you've shared your grief wisdom with
the GIC class. Lou

 

Thank you Lou. You truly are a warrior on behalf of healing for all of us.

 

Thank you so much, Teacher. I did
come up with The Grief Warriors ( TGW)
to describe us. My younger brothers
call me The Godfather, bc I bring the
family of mourners ( not the crime
family) together. I'm honored by the
title, but we also have fun references
to the original movie. Lou

 

But, on reflection Georgester I think Humster should go to rest. Sounds too much like hamster, although I like those creatures, but........

 

Ms. Hum, woke up at 7:30am today ( hope
you're still asleep on the West Coast) and
wanted to add my thoughts to your
amusing nickname dialog with George.
It's a welcome distraction from my
waking up with tears in my eyes, bc I
was dreaming I was talking with Linda.
Though you call George , "Georgester",.
he calls himself BroGeo, orLombardo
( Da Vinci), when he addresses Gary
( BroGar, or Garbear), and me, Lou,
Louster, Lobsterino, LobsterDude,
variations of The Godfather, and more! L

 

George, just letting you know that lately I come on here looking for your art. I’m in love with your art. You struggle to even do art and your pieces seem to bring me peace. I thank you for that. I believe we all do.
Karen I’m going down that path too. Not wanting to leave my house. It’s my safe place. It’s takes an effort for me to go out. Easier when my daughter takes me places. I’m hoping when winter passes this feeling will too.
Wishing each of us a better day. Robin

 

Robin, I needed to hear from another
Grief Warrior this morning, after I replied to Karen ( "Ms. Hum") from last night's
post to George. I woke up crying, from a
dream in which I was talking with Linda.
I listened to different songs on my
Smart Phone, to just let the floodgates
flow ( as Debster says). I agree that
winter sucks. It's a gray, dark, cold
Sunday. It would be a perfect day for
getting drunk, but , as I learned after
Linda died, alcohol and lack of sleep,
made my missing Linda even worse.
I'm the opposite of you & Karen. I MUST
walk outside every morning , unless
there's a blizzard or ice storm. If it
snows, I walk in the street ( after it's
plowed), and get stronger and happier ,
walking with Linda's cane, having
breakfast at a friendly place, where I
sit at the counter, and talk with the
owner/cook, waitresses, and other
customers. The hot coffee and
conversations cheer me up. I've pointed
to Linda's cane, and said she would've
loved all these people and this place. I
say the same thing in my local cafe, which
has live music at lunchtime and on Friday
nights. The cafe didn't exist when Linda
was alive, but I try not to get sad that
she missed it, and didn't get to meet any
of my friends. She would've loved all
my kind, and sometimes funny , friends
on GIC, also. Lou

 

What about Humalina!!! LoL

 

Robyn! I am so glad you like my art! Right now I'm so uncertain it is any good. I know thatz probably irrational but I'm not feeling vert confident and strong lately, even though I'm trying always! I don't want to go out either but I have to (dialysis) which is good for me. Winter is so cold and dark this year and today it's snowing! Your kind words encourage me to keep doing my art. Hope to post more this week. Keep on trying too! We can and will do it!