Im not sure where to start ...,My emotions and heartache are totally overwhelming me .I lost my husband of 46 years on the 24th of February this year .I live in a foreign Asian country .That is having very strict lockdowns as Covid is out of control here..I live alone ,my daughters live overseas and have not been allowed into the country to grieve for their father . I do have a son and his family living close by .Thank God !! but Im still feeling totally isolated from friends and family .I guess living in an apartment alone and not been able to drive is making my situation worse . My husbands possessions are all around me ...I feel I cant move anything as I want to believe hes coming back !! I know Im being silly ,but seeing his clothes and all his daily items give me so much comfort .Im feeling totally lost .Im not sure how to go on without him .I cant leave the country to go back to the UK as I have all the admin to sort out ,everything is closed here making my job impossible . Just writing this a step forward for me ,as I put on a very good front and everyone thinks Im doing fine .But in all honesty Im just in a shell that protects from the real grief and showing my emotions .