Lost of my one and only son

I am sorry it has taken so long for me to reply. On Sunday I have responsibilities that I don't have on the other days.
I am sorry to hear, but not surprised to hear, that you are feeling miserable. It is part of the journey down this road which we never expected or wanted to take. Right now it is important to take care of yourself. You are under a lot of stress and that can really hurt the body. Try to get out in the fresh air even if just for a little while. Try to take at least a short walk. It is a stress reliever.
Try to take life minute by minute or hour by hour for the time being. Try to accomplish at least one little thing a day even if it is just getting up, getting dressed, and brushing your teeth. Grieving drains so much energy from a person at first.
Chris

 

"Weeping endures for the night, but joy comes in the morning." You are in the night, but you will be moving toward the morning. Jesus is the Prince of Peace and He will help you if you ask Him. He loves you.

 

No need to be sorry about not replying right away. I completely understand. Your time is very mucb valued and appreciated. Im so tired of this pain and misery.

 

I wish I could say something that would help relieve that pain and misery, but I can't. Just know I care about what happens to you.
Chris

 

Hello Shirley,
Hope you have gotten through the day okay.
I want to let you know my friend Jennifer I told you about has gotten a profile on this site now. Her name on here is JenniferY. She is the person who lost her young son to a drowning accident in January about 2 years ago when the ice on a pond broke through. She can join this conversation which appears under "Loss of a Child", unless you prefer she wait.
I hope you can get a good night's sleep.
Chris

 

that would be great if she joined. Thanks!

 

I'm here. I literally came back to this plat form for you. When I hear that you blame yourself and replay it over and over what you should have done, that sent me to a flashback of my situation. I'm here just for you ❤️

 

thank you!!!

 

Whatever you need me for I am here just as me anytime.

 

Everything has just been really hard to process. Heartbroken is an understatement.

 

It felt like a freight train ran through my soul heartbroken is not even close to the word for sure.

 

There are times I feel like my chest is going to explode

 

Shirley,
I am glad you two connected.
And I felt the exact same as you, like my chest was going to explode because it hurt so bad.

 

Thank you Jennifer. Your concern is greatly appreciated.
I love you.
Chris

 

I also blamed myself for my 8-year-old son's death and I rehearsed a million times what I should have done differently that day.

 

I would like to share with you something someone told me to do. It has been one of the biggest helps and I hope it will help you. She said when your mind is racing and you're replaying things over and over again you need to switch your mind she would do crossword puzzles. I started doing word search or finding something to read whatever it may be sewing quilts who knows the things are endless. At first I didn't know what to think about this advice but I tried it did help me a lot to calm my thought process down a little. I'm still using this method.

 

Thanks for the advice I will try. Did you go to therapy and was it helpful? I had my first session. It went well for the most part but I tuned out when he started telling me to these exercises for sleeping. I miss him so much. I sometimes hope that I would not wake up when I sleep.

 

It didn't help me personally. Five months after I found him dead the therapist told me I was stuck and needed to go on medicine. So I did it numbed every single emotion and I found out from others who had went through medication that it stops grief and you're going to have to deal with it later. I decided to buy the bullet and just let grief have at it. I found more therapy and talking to people that have been there done that. This is just me personally I don't advice one way or the other. Another therapist thought the solution was for me to put all of my children in public school (we home school) and for me to go back to school get a career and get a job I've always been a stay-at-home mom. I'm not exactly sure how that was supposed to cure everything! My children also experienced trauma my son's older brother tried to save him my older daughter held him while CPR was performed. My younger daughter I did put in public school that was a terrible terrible mistake her way of coping oddly she rebelled. Then there's my marriage which I won't go there but you would think experiencing such a horrible loss would be enough that no you have life to do with other people to deal with circumstances money the list goes on and on it is so overwhelming at times. I do remember having the thought of running in front of a semi I think it is weirdly somewhat normal to have these thoughts so don't feel like you are the only one.

 

I don't think there is a cure for sleeping and most definitely for grief. You're going to lose sleep for a while. Your body is in fight or flight mode. Your brain is replaying over and over again. I woke up and not sweats I hated to lay down and try to go to sleep because it felt like I was the one drowning in my son's place and I would startle out of my sleep. It did get better yes I still have them once in awhile but it is better my sleep is much better. Please just give yourself Grace and if nothing else drink lots of water. I was so dehydrated from crying so much I cried so much that the tears burnt the side of my face it was very painful.

 

I wish I could edit sorry night sweats