I joined today because I feel so lost and alone. I lost my 11 yr old son to a car accident a month ago in which I blame myself for what happened. I thought of every scenarios on what I should have done to avoid the accident and save my son so it has been very painful (understatement). I constantly have suicidal thoughts but I know deep inside its something I wouldnt do because of my two older daughters and my grandson. He was my best friend, my travel buddy, and who was always beside me no matter what. We were inseperable. I find it hard to live life without him but taking it day by day. I feel as though Im the only one grieving because my family seems to be ok while im still weak, lost, angry, confused and slowly dying inside. I have no one I can talk to that has gone through a similar situtation. I cant find the strenght to do anything.