Lost Myself in Losing My Husband

I feel so empty and alone and I have lost myself in serious depression and I give up everyone I don't know how to be ok

 

I am so sorry. I am in a similar boat. I know it is going to take time. But I definitely feel this way a lot.

 

How are you doing? I am almost 6 weeks in my grief after losing my husband suddenly. I feel you.

 

Not well I'm very sad emotional depressed it hard to be ok

 

It never gets easy it gets worse forr me

 

I feel so bad. I know the feeling. How long were you married? I was married 28 years but together 30 years. He died suddenly and the first month I just cried if I wasn’t shocked. I cried less but had a constant emptiness and sadness. Then my father died and I missed the comfort of my Husbands presence and arms around me. Just try to eat a little meals and just have a good cry. Lay in bed if you want but walking a little helps. It’s like a big wave coming and crashing into you and you fall into a pit of despair. Write your pain and we can help.

 

I am with you both. I am struggling more at 5 mos than I did at 1 mo. KJ22, not to say it is the same for everyone. My grueling work schedule and isolation from others is kindling the fucked upness.

 

@egglet i am so sorry you are going thru this too. Do you find work helps or just delays the grief process? I feel like I am thinking too much. It’s hard to believe my husband is not around.

 

My Thoughts go out to all of you and am very sorry for your losses. I lost my Life partner of 28 years to a sudden heart attack 7 Weeks ago, and it seems to be getting harder not easier. I try to work from home as much as I can because i need to keep the income but all of the other Household stuff kind of gets puts to the side. Everytime I think of her it makes me so sad and numb. It is hard to really get a lot done.

 

I'm so sorry for everybody's loss.
Grief really is for the long haul because our love was true and so it remains.
The mourning is the phantom pain of our beloved being amputated out of our existence.
We wanted them for so much longer, a totally different story.
Never this..... Yet here we are, vulnerably, trying, surviving and having to live the impossible loss.
To the best of our capacities. Learning to love ourselves through this tragedy.
To treat ourselves like our beloved would, because for some reason our story coninues on.
Grieving is the ode we pay to our beloved and the way we learn to continue our bond with them.
Because no one can take that away from us, and death cannot eliminate love.
The eternal nature of our bond is here forever, with us in our hearts to stay.
Pain, shock, sorrow, sadness, numbness, anger, lethargy are all part of the journey.
May you be held by the warm bond you shared with your person.
Forever united in spirit, although it's so hard to reach or feel it yet.
Love lingers always.

 

Natasha, I found your moving post tonight,
and realized we had "talked" back in Jan.
when I asked your name. What you have
gone through over the suicide of your
soulmate, is hard to fathom, for anyone
who hasn't experienced the psychotic
episodes of a loved one . Remember that
you loved each other before mental
illness overwhelmed him . It was certainly
not your fault. He knew you loved him
prior to his descent into madness. I am
grateful that you stayed with us on
Grief in Common ( GIC). I came up with
the term, The Grief Warriors ( TGW),
bc we care deeply for each other, and
when one of us stumbles & falls, we
reach out a helping hand. Do you still
live outside the U.S. ? Recently, TGW
talked about the power of certain songs,
in our grieving. You've Got a Friend , sung
by James Taylor, was played at my wife,
Linda's very small funeral. Linda died 3 &
a half years ago, suddenly , at 68. We
were married 25 years, no children. I
didn't join GIC until July of 2021. It was
recommended to me by my grief counselor. I've made many close friends
here. We all believe what you said about
"forever being united in spirit" and
" love lingers always". Thank you,
Natasha, for comforting new members,
like ForeverBroken2022 and NaSam.
God Bless you. Lou

 

I wish there is a magic wand that would make everything better it's been 6 mos. sense I loss my husband of 48 yrs. a day has not gone by that I haven't cried or yelled at him for leaving me, Everyone keeps saying you are so bless to have your 2 grown kids and 7 grandkids and 11 greats but they don't understand it's not the same as your husband, he was my strength, my support, my everything, kids have their own lives and seem to be moving on and don't understand why I can't, and I really try to keep busy but it's not working because he was always beside me, I have read your stories and I know so much what everyone is feeling

 

Dear "Loss", I'm so sorry about the
death of your husband & soulmate of 48
years. You are wise & brave to join us
on Grief in Common. Only those of us
whose soulmates have died, can know the
agony we feel every day. My wife. Linda ,
died suddenly, in front of me, at 68. We
were married 25 years, no children. May
I ask your name, and that of your dear
husband? I have found that saying Linda's
name helps me in my grieving. My
grief counselor suggested a book, called
The Widower's Notebook, a memoir, by
Jonathan Santlofer, about how he deals
with the sudden death of his wife, of 40
years, Joy. He has a chapter which can
apply to you. It's called " Stupid Things
Said by Smart People". I've recommended
this book to the members of GIC, as well
as the book, Permission to Mourn, by
Tom Zuba. I hope I can be of some help &
comfort. Lou