Lost my youngest son to suicide July 3rd.

My grief is getting harder to bear. Last night I was driving and really j just wanted to full speed into a tree. Thank God I had just enough sense to park at a convenience store. I just stood there and silently cried. The clerk asked if I was ok and I said no. They asked if I wanted them to call the sheriff's department and I said yes. The deputy was very sweet and asked if I had anyone I could call to pick me up. The first two I called didn't answer. The third one did and immediately came to get me. I had told the deputy that I was dangerous to be driving. I called in tonight to thank him for his kindness. My friend picked me up and took me to her house so I didn't have to be alone at my house. She was very sweet, kind, and understanding. Thank God for those souls who literally saved my life last night. I'm so thankful that each one of them helped me. Now I'm terrified to know I can completely lose control of myself so quickly.

 

Please let me know how you are getting along. I care about you. Chris

 

I can't say it's been a merry Christmas, another day alone without human contact. I have however, gotten out of bed, eaten, and have tried to work on my painting of my daughter as an angel cuddling her son while he sleeps.
How has your day been?

 

My day is better now that I have heard from you. That sounds like it will be a beautiful picture and I am anxious to see it. When you finish it, please upload it.
My day has been good. We have not heard from our older son for several months now. I don't know where he is or how he is. He has a serious meth addiction. I thought maybe he would contact us over Christmas, but he has not made any contact.
I continue to entrust him into God's hands. He loves him even more than I do and I know He can protect him.
I am so glad to hear from you. I pray you have a peaceful night's sleep and a good day tomorrow working on the painting.
Chris

 

Haven't heard from you in quite awhile. I hope you are okay. How is your painting coming along?

 

Thinking of you. Hugs