Hi there. I lost my wife, (June) to cancer 11 days ago. She had battled that evil cruel disease for 10 years. It had originated in her appendix. She had several surgeries during the initial diagnosis and a 7 month stay in hospital due to complications. At the time her Specialist told us that eventually she would have to have more surgery and was almost 100% sure this would result in a permanent colostomy. That time came on July 29 of this year. The surgery went well and her Dr told us he was pleased with how it went. It wasn’t perfect but he felt confident in what he could accomplish. This was obviously a great relief for our family. But as with the first surgeries years ago, June had a very hard recovery. A lot of discomfort and pain. She was due to have a CT in October but our family Dr decided to push that up to September as her pain levels were increasing. On Sept 28 we met with her Pain Management Team and were given the results of the CT. New cancer had formed in the lymph nodes, lungs and liver. We both work in our local hospital. So we already knew this was very serious. June was a realist.I was hopeful. We met with her treatment team at our local cancer center and we were informed the cancer was very aggressive and any treatment would be Palliative in nature. First there was 10 radiation treatments. This did nothing. The tumour (which had grown back) had actually increased in size. Chemotherapy wasn’t an option as June had deteriorated in those few short weeks and had developed an infection. She was moved into our Palliative Care Unit at the beginning of November. Her condition continued to deteriorate and the pressure from the tumour caused tremendous pain and discomfort for her. Her pain medications were increased but she was still in pain. Her care Dr told me that she could increase her sedation but that she would basically be in a heavy sleep and probably wouldn’t respond to us. I had already discussed certain scenarios with June and knew her biggest fear wasn’t passing on. She wasn’t afraid of death. But she was afraid to live in constant pain. So her medication was increased and we lost her on Nov 13 at 10:50 am. We did get a few responses in those 3 days as I can’t even count the amount of times that we told her how much we loved her. And a couple of times her lips would move and I’m sure she was telling us she loved us back. On one hand I’m very Thankful that she is out of pain. But on the other I feel like half of my soul is missing. I know this is a normal feeling when we lose someone that we love and is so close to us. And I know I’m not the only one feeling this way. Which is why I signed up on this site. I have a lot of support from family and friends that I truly appreciate. But to be honest, as much as I appreciate them, I don’t know if they truly understand how hard it is to deal with. I didn’t lose my wife. I also lost my best friend, confidante, room mate, co-worker…. I know she would want me to keep going and I will. We have a daughter that just started her Nursing career. So I promised June that I would look out for her just as I had promised when she was born. I look forward to hearing from others on this site and I Thank You for taking the time to read this. Condo
