My almost 15 year old son died last month after three years of fighting. My husband and I feel so lost but have to stay strong for our three younger kids. Our youngest son is so young he barely understands the concept, aside from "Les is gone now" almost every night I wake up from a night terror just repeating the day where he was so calmly laying in the grass in our back garden, and then 999 came and he was just gone. Just gone. We knew it was going to happen but it came too soon, it always would have come too soon. Our son put a list in his guitar case of all the things he wanted to happen after he was gone. I can proudly say we have been working on them all, and our favourite by far is not letting his boyfriend drift apart from our family now that hes gone. Our Les always told us that even though his boyfriend may want to join him up there, but that we cannot let him, no matter what. Even though it hurts horribly every second of my life, we have found if you surround yourself with the people you love, you are so much more stronger than you are alone.
