Lost My Son To Drugs

Discussion in 'Loss from Substance Abuse' started by KisforKodie, Aug 8, 2022.

  1. KisforKodie

    KisforKodie New Member

    It has been over a year and I'm still hurting so bad that it is difficult to function. I've lost my will to laugh, or attempt anything that once brought me joy. I've been dealing with guilt, blame, shame and I cry all the time. I've just starting looking for work because before I didn't feel I could hold down a job. The people around me have been so cold to what this is like and how frozen your life can become. Never in a million years did I think this would be my life at this age. It is so unbelievable and I'm trying to start looking ahead not behind. I did the if only's, and why didn't i try more, I went back to his childhood days and wished for another chance to do things all over and if I could he would still be with me. He was a good soul, smart and talented and I feel I failed him by lack of direction. But I have been carrying anger towards his dad as well for the same thing. So Anger has been a huge part of my recovery process. I went over my whole life with a fine tooth comb and it only opened up old wounds and seems to have made things worse. I don't know what to do or how to get my love or joy back. When my son left this world all of that went with him.
  2. sampson214

    sampson214 Member

    I just lost my father to a fentanyl overdose. My sister found his body and I went to his room to see for myself. I camt get the image out of my head. My father was a good hardworking man with a zest for life and helping others. The whys are killing me. Why did he relapse that night? Was it just once or had it been going on for a while? Why didn't I notice something was going on? Why him? The cops are close to arresting the drug dealer so I am thankful for that. I am so sorry for your loss. This is a terrible disease and we need to do more about it. People look down on addicts and it kills me. There needs to be more support for addicts. My father couldn't afford the medication he needed. It's so painful knowing this could have been avoided. I'm so heartbroken. I don't know how to exist in a world like this.
  3. KisforKodie

    KisforKodie New Member

    I'm so sorry you had to go through that. It is very heartbreaking to lose a loved one and then to lose them from drugs can make it even harder for the reason you mentioned above....because people look down on it and the person who lost their life. Grieving the loss is a process and can be rough. I hope you are around people who you can gain support from it is important to have that. My heart goes out to you and your family. Your dad sounds like he was a great man who gave when he was able to. People need to understand that our loved ones were real people with souls that mattered.
  4. Amelia’smom

    Amelia’smom New Member

  5. Amelia’smom

    Amelia’smom New Member

    It’s been 5 years for me
    My daughter passed away from a drug overdose when she was 26. The guilt I feel has taken my life away and I will never be the same.