Lost my mother at 18 to alcohol

I recently lost my mother this past February. She was only 43. She left behind my younger brother and I. I haven’t been able to come to terms with my own feelings about the situation. I miss her everyday, and often think about her, but I also can’t help but feel relieved of the expectations she had of me. I had become a second parent to my 4 year old brother, and near the end of her life, I was the person she relied on everyday to get daily tasks done. I have always been the one to take care of her, take her to bed when she got too drunk, make sure she was sober enough to drive us home. I felt like in some ways, I was a parent to her...

But I still don’t know what to do without her. I wish she could see me graduate high school and move into my new college. I want her to be there to hold my hand on my wedding day, and some day watch my children be born. My family is too caught up in their own grief to realize the extent that I’m struggling right now.

 

So hurt for you. I lost my mother when I was 15 under different circumstances but I understand you wanting her to see all the things you are going to do. My Mom did not get to see me graduate, get married, or have children. I just try to hold my memories of her in my heart and hope she is seeing my joys from her final resting place. I hope someone in your family can help you through this very difficult time.