Lost my momma yesterday. I am in so much pain and have a lot of guilt

I am so lost. My mom passed yesterday from heart failure. We had been in the hospital for 3 weeks battling. It was hell. She passed after they stopped monitoring her and was heavily sedated. It happened too fast and I am having a hard time with this. I have so much guilt of not doing ore for her, for being an ass. For not appreciating every moment with her and kissing her sweet head and face more. I wish I could hold her hand again. I wish I could tell her I love her one more time. I wish so many things. I will never see her again and I can't deal. I need support

 

I so understand you. My mom passed away in the hospital and only my brother was by her side. I have lived with her all my life ( 58 years ). I was taking care of her. She was 83 . She had a stroke in june 2021 and then Covid in november and passed in december. My life has stopped since then. I cannot live without her. I'm dying and friends and family eventually took their distance from us because we can't get over our grief and they're tired of listening to us crying . I have this guilt that I was not beside her . I would give my life if God could bring her back so I could hug and kiss her one more time. I need people who understand me and feel the same way so we can help and lift each other.

 

I'm so sorry for both your losses. My story is similar. My mum died suddenly from cardiac arrest 2 months ago. She had heart failure but I had no idea she was as sick as she was. She had been living with my family here in Italy since March but her home was in Uk. I didn't want her to be alone as she was becoming very frail and having difficulty living alone.
I too have guilt feelings, as I didn't get to tell her how much I loved her and not spending more quality time with her. Also had I missed important signs? I should have insisted on taking her to hospital, although she didn't want to go. She was feeling nauseous and tired the day before. We had planned on going out to lunch the following day. That morning she was gone.
It was so sudden. I'm struggling.

 

Hey there . I lost my mommy back in October of this year. And although I would like to share my shock . I want to take this time to send hugs and kisses to you all. I was apprehensive about reading your post, because I thought it trigger my water fall. But it made me want to send you guys some digital love. Although our mommy’s aren’t with us physically, even if the memories are small or big, their ours to keep and ours to hold. Always keep into account that we are all imperfect . And our mommy’s loved us just as we were. My mom told her nurse to tell me she loved me VERY VERY VERY MUCH, so from my mom to you all the love is still in you as you walk this planet with your favorite person in the stars !

 

It's still early days and the Christmas period doesn't make it easy. It's true that memories are what we have to hold on to and I know that eventually they will not cause pain just joy.
At the moment they are bittersweet.
Sending love and strength to all those facing their first very difficult Christmas without their loved one.xx

 

I understand my bf of six years passed from Covid in the very beginning of pandemic. Didn't get to see in hospital or attend a burial service for him. Still missing him and my life with him.

 

I so relate. I lost my mom 17 days ago due to heart failure, it was all sudden, and everything happened in as little as 3 days. Me and my father took her to two different doctors and they both failed in their diagnosis until it got serious and we took her to the Hospital. I am struggling with the guilt too, I am angry at the “doctors” who failed in their praxis and told us it was a virus, and I am angry at myself for not recognizing she was having a freakin heart attack . I lost my mom, my world, and my best friend because of ignorance and it’s killing me….
Sending light and love to everyone out there.

 

Whiteroses don't be too hard on yourself at this time. Since my mum passed I have been doing a lot of reading about heart failure. It sometimes can get worse very quickly and also it can have periods when it seems to improve, to then worsen again. You did the best you could for your mum taking her to see the doctors but I do understand your anger. I too couldn't believe that mum's heart nurse checked her over in mid August and told her she was satisfied that she was stable and then 6 weeks later she was gone..... so suddenly. I didn't realize that she was as ill as she was and I torment myself over this. She had nausea which came and went and an upset tummy the days before, plus she had been more breathless on exertion in those past weeks. However I never could have realised that she really was so poorly. I never got the chance to tell her all I would have wanted to tell her and do for her. It was such a terrible shock. It's so tough. Sending love and strength to all those grieving at this difficult time of the year.xx

 

I just wanted to thank you. Aside from my family, you were the very first person who told me not to be so hard on myself and you have no idea of the impact your kind words did on me during those early days of grief.
It’s been 2 months now and I have more clarity in my mind, but those first couple of weeks were hell and you uplifted my spirit, I felt heard, understood, and loved.
Sending much, much love back to you!

 

Hey Whiteroses good to hear from you! How are you doing? I'm a little better, as you say there is more clarity in my mind and the waves are less intense and further apart. Some days are worse than others.
Sometimes I still can't believe mum is gone forever. I regret not cherishing every moment and not hugging her and telling her I loved her more. Sudden death is so traumatic and cruel and I still feel so lonely. Sending love.