Lost my mom 2 days ago

Discussion in 'Loss of a Parent' started by Penguincrazie, Jul 30, 2020.

  1. Penguincrazie

    Penguincrazie New Member

    My mom had a terrible cancer and passed away two days ago. I was with her for her final 3 days not leaving her side for a moment and held her as she took her last breaths. It was an awful and traumatic experience for me. She was my best friend and we talked daily. I don’t know how I will go on without her (I’m 44 yesterday, she died day before my birthday). This is a terrible pain like no other.
    DallasPaige likes this.
  2. PM0722

    PM0722 Member

    I completely understand! My mom last week of kidney failure and it was horrific towards the end. She was suffering . I Used to talk 100 times a day, and we completed each other’s heart and soul.
    emr233 and JoNas like this.
  3. mariar

    mariar New Member

    I understand how you feel. I lost my mother to cancer about a month ago. My siblings and I were with her the last 4 days of her life. It was a very traumatic and painful experience watching her suffer. I'm the oldest of 3 and I am 35. My sister is the youngest and is 30 - she is the same age our mom was when she had her. The whole time we were with our mom all we could think is "that's the woman who birthed us". It's also been hard to be in the room b/c of covid.
    I'm so sorry that your mom died the day before your birthday. I couldn't imagine that pain.
    emr233 likes this.
  4. HankersKing6

    HankersKing6 Well-Known Member

    I lost my mom almost three months now on Aug 29. Sometimes I think it is not real. I miss her so very much !!
  5. Lorip110

    Lorip110 New Member

  6. Lorip110

    Lorip110 New Member

    I just got here. I lost my mom yesterday to cancer. It feels like a nightmare. I feel your pain
    emr233 and DallasPaige like this.
  7. CLG926

    CLG926 New Member

    I lost my mom on September 26. I just joined and need people to talk to who understand. I also was with my mom who crashed after a heart procedure. I was with her during her final breath. It’s so traumatic.
    emr233 likes this.
  8. HankersKing6

    HankersKing6 Well-Known Member

    I am so sorry for your loss and I do understand. My mom passed away on May 29 after seven months if suffering with stomach cancer. I was holding her hand when she took her last breath and it's something that is still vivid in my mind. It never completely goes away but time really does help ease the pain. I cry when I need to and I pray for strength. May God give you peace.
    emr233 likes this.
  9. Shelbel

    Shelbel New Member

    I am so sorry that you are feeling such a traumatic loss. My mother died 36 hours a go. She was wonderful and vibrant and living her life, the May 20th in one second she was changed for life due to a stroke. It’s been a roller coaster. She went into a memory care facility after hospitalization then rehab. She seemed to bounce back but with the stroke came an exasperation of Alzheimer’s. Until Friday she could still talk a little and was eating and drinking a little. Saturday came and she never responded again and went on hospice. My sister and I were by her side and holding her as she slipped away. I don’t know how to live in a world without her.
    emr233 likes this.
  10. HankersKing6

    HankersKing6 Well-Known Member

    I feel your pain. But by the grace of God (if he is your higher power) you will find your way. I find the memory of her is forever with me. The pain comes and goes. Today I am feeling sadness!!! Miss her beyond measure. Lord help!!
    emr233 likes this.
  11. Catagirl76

    Catagirl76 New Member

    I feel ur pain I just lost mine the 4th of this month 3 days after her bday I found her lying outside she was gonna smoke a cigarette and didnt get to she was turning blue already god it hurts so much she was my best friend I feel so lost I didnt say good bye the pain is killing me
    Linda63 and emr233 like this.
  12. HankersKing6

    HankersKing6 Well-Known Member

    Oh my God. Sooo sorry for your loss. I can only imagine how devastating that was for you. I pray you find the strength and comfort in your time of need. Her being your best friend I'm sure left you with lots of memories you can smile about. The pain will lessen some with time.
    emr233 likes this.
  13. DallasPaige

    DallasPaige New Member

    My mom passed away from cancer on Nov 7th which was her birthday too. I’m the youngest of 3 and I’m 35. This journey feels weird and I’m trying to cope and everyone says I’m doing so well...whatever that means. I lost my bff and I’m a mommy girl. I’m just trying to get through each day and keep my sanity. I miss her so much and I keep going back to her final moments. I was there during her final breath, I had just put deodorant on her and she had been doing the death rattle for like a day or so. It was traumatic to watch and I’m honestly hurting and can’t believe she isn’t here anymore.
    emr233 likes this.
  14. HankersKing6

    HankersKing6 Well-Known Member

    Do sorry for your kids. I truly know the feeling. My mom passed away six months ago today. I remember the death rattle being so scary bcz I didn't know what it was. If your mom was suffering as mine was I'm sure you would not want that as I had to reckon with letting her go. Cherish your sweet memories and pray for strength.
  15. Jenknee72

    Jenknee72 Member

    I lost my momma on Nov 29th. She was diagnosed with lung cancer (rare- never smoker) a year ago. She had a PET scan done August 30th that showed improvement. The second week in November she had stomach pains and couldn’t keep food down. My dad finally took her to the hospital, thinking maybe so she could get hydrated (she would get sick sometimes with the chemo she was on) they ran so many tests not knowing what was going on. Blood work was fine. Finally 5 days later they told her the cancer spread to the lining of her stomach and she didn’t have much time! I flew in on Saturday the same day dad made the decision for her to come home. With hospice. My sister flew in also. We were all in so much shock. Happened so fast. My sister and I watched her get worse each day. 4 days later we couldn’t handle the emotional and physical pain of watching her suffer. With just instructions to give her Ativan and morphine every 4 hours. Each day her pain seemed to get worse. 4th day we decided hospice house so she could just be comfortable- they put a catheter and IV for medicine. She was already unconscious from the medicine I suppose. I can not get the image of how sick she looked along with everything else out of my head! So unfair! I’m so so upset and cry so much! She was my best friend- we talked on the phone every day, and text if we weren’t talking. I just don’t know how I can live without her! So much pain, so mad that I didn’t get a chance to really say a final goodbye. She fought so hard. She didn’t want to die! Miss her with all my heart. After being in the hospice house (she went in on Thanksgiving) and passed on Sunday. How did I not know she was close to dying?? All the time we talked?? How could this even happen like that? She did start sleeping a lot.. I don’t live close I’m in another state.. my dad just thought it was the chemo. I’m just so lost
    Tareed and emr233 like this.
  16. HankersKing6

    HankersKing6 Well-Known Member

    OMG.... What can I say. I am so so sorry for your lost and pray for your strength. I saw my mom suffer also and saw her take her last breath. My image will forever be with me. But I do know I did not want her to suffer anymore. I believe she is resting with the Lord and that gives me peace. I do miss her Dearly. God bless you!
  17. Jenknee72

    Jenknee72 Member

    I miss her so much. It’s been 2 weeks and I am having such a hard time. I didn’t get a chance to say the things I wanted to say, it all happened so quick. When I think about the last 2 months, I never thought about she was almost at the end of her life- in fact none of us knew. Taking care of her the last few days are the awful memories I can’t erase out of my mind. You know exactly my thoughts because it seems you went through the same as well.. I’m so sorry.... what have you’ve done so far to try and heal? I just can’t seem to stop this pain it hurts so bad
    Linda63 likes this.
  18. HankersKing6

    HankersKing6 Well-Known Member

    I have to admit that joining this group and being able to write down exactly how I am feeling is like journaling. It cleanses the soul. Because these ppl have really been through the same thing and know how bad it feels. Go outside and get some fresh air everyday if you can. I enjoy that and pray. Find a hobby you like. I also garden and adult coloring books. You will never forget but the pain does lessen with time. Cherish your good memories of her. U can make it. GOD bless you!
  19. HankersKing6

    HankersKing6 Well-Known Member

    Dec 25, 2020. First Christmas without my mom who died 7 months ago. I really hate that word "died". I feel she is always w/me. I miss her so much it Hurts!! My dear mother. Lord Have Mercy!
  20. Jenknee72

    Jenknee72 Member

    My first Christmas as well. It was the worst Christmas ever.