Lost my Father, my best friend

Discussion in 'Loss of a Parent' started by Linds, Feb 12, 2017.

  1. Linds

    Linds New Member

    Hello, November 29th or 30th 2016, I lost my father. We still don't know the date for sure. He seemingly laid down and never woke up. I was supposed to be moving in with him only 2 short weeks later. He spent most of his life alone and this was going to be our chance to start again together. I feel broken, like a piece of me is missing that I can't fill.
  2. Ellen C

    Ellen C Guest

    Dear Linds,
    I am so sorry for your loss. I know it is especially hard for you since you were so looking forward to spending time with your Dad again. Now it's like unfinished business which can never be resolved. Very difficult to deal with.
    I myself know how you feel. I experienced many losses all within a 15 year period. My only daughter 15 years ago, my Dad 12 years ago, my Mom last May and I'm also dealing with the end of a 19 year marriage. It seems as if you never get a chance to fully recover.

    My Dad was technically my step-dad, however he was in my life for more than 30 years and I only knew him as Dad and I was his daughter. In a way, I miss him the most because truth be told, he really saved me emotionally when I was much younger. My biological father abandoned me after my parents divorced and I was really lost. Although he had 3 kids of his own, I was always "M's" favorite and his love and support was unconditional and never ending. He died rather suddenly from mesothelioma, which is cancer from asbestos. It can lay dormant for 40 years and then all of the sudden it explodes and suffocates you from the inside out. It's horrible. He was gone in 6 weeks, and although I'm grateful he didn't suffer too long, the shock was something I'll never truly recover from.

    But recover and survive is what you do. Somehow. You really can't put a timeframe on it because grief and healing is a very personal thing. It took me nearly 8 years of visiting his grave twice a month, before I could stop sobbing hysterically. Father's Day and birthday's are still very hard, but I'm doing what he would have wanted for me. I'm living my life in a way that would make him proud. That's how I honor his memory.

    It's still very new for you and you're probably just struggling to get out of bed sometimes and even just to breathe. Give yourself time and don't have too many regrets. I'm sure he know how much you loved him. I choose to believe that when our loved ones leave us physically, their spirits and souls remain and we see them in signs all around us. You just have to look. And of course, their love is forever in our hearts.

    No, it's hardly the same and life is very hard without them, but life can still be good. Try to believe that.

    Wishing you comfort and strength in dealing with your loss and heartfelt condolences.

    Take care~Ellen