lost my dad, looking to connect with people my age (20s)

Discussion in 'Loss of a Parent' started by *Sarah*, Jul 3, 2020.

  1. *Sarah*

    *Sarah* New Member

    New member, here. I lost my dad suddenly in December 2019. I'm hoping to connect with people around my age (20s) who are dealing with a sudden loss and/or the death of a parent to chat and exchange resources and ideas.
  2. Jazz08

    Jazz08 New Member


    I am also a new member. I lost my dad unexpectedly in November 2019 and have been struggling with it. How have you been doing with it?
  3. Bella416

    Bella416 New Member

    New member here as well; hoping to connect and communicate with others who have experienced similar situations of parent loss at a younger age, and to discuss the varied parts of evolving grief experiences about general parent/family loss, but also with those who had complicated parent-child relationships which has affected their grieving process
    taberml likes this.
  4. KristenS

    KristenS Member

    Hi guys, I'm not in my 20s but I was last year. I lost my father to lung cancer after a fast and gresome 5 week decline. He passed Sept 12th 2019. Been diagnosed with PTSD. Angry all the time without cause - its always beneath the surface. Struggling... looking for connection and understanding. Others around me think I should be better because it's almost been a year. I'm an only child and had a very close and loving relationship with my dad.
    @APPY likes this.
  5. BrittanyCall

    BrittanyCall New Member

    I’m a new member here and have also lost my dad unexpectedly, I found him and started CPR but was to late. He passed March 29, 20. I had a very close relationship with my dad and it hurts to try and continue each day. Anything helps to try and get through the pain
    @APPY likes this.
  6. KristenS

    KristenS Member

    Oh Brittany. I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. Your loss is fresh and recent and I can only imagine how awful that was. I want to tell you a few things though. Reach out to people if you can, ask for help, keep eating.. Self care - these were the worst days for me and I did not take care of my body. Those first few months were the worst for me. Just know, I'm a daughter who was close with her father and today I have more good days than I do bad. Keep going. Journal. And just know that whatever you're feeling is normal and you're not going crazy - dont let others try to tell you how long or in what way you should grieve. Keep reaching out on websites like this. I had a dream last night that my father was alive, but when I woke up and saw your post, my focus shifted. Helping others helps yourself-when you are ready..
  7. KristenS

    KristenS Member

    Also Brittany- I dont know if I posted my last post as a reply but if not just scroll down. If you want to talk one on one I'd be glad to listen - just knowing there is someone else who has been as confused, hurt and shocked to the core can really help. You're not alone!
    BrittanyCall likes this.
  8. BrittanyCall

    BrittanyCall New Member

    Thank you so much! The first 2 months I barely ate., I still barely eat to this day but it’s getting better and better. Everyday tho I still wish he was here. Thanks so much for reading my story. ❤️
  9. JacobPospy

    JacobPospy New Member

    New member, lost my dad on June 13th suddenly and I’m sad but I’m having the worst time showing any kind of emotion or being able to tell people how I feel. A big part of my life is just suddenly gone and now I have to figure out how to live on.
  10. KristenS

    KristenS Member

    I can imagine that you're in shock still.. I was numb for a few months after... trying to power through. I'm sorry for what you're going through. Its difficult to show emotion when that means you have to feel it. Hang in there and keep posting..
  11. I'm slightly (only technically) outside the 20s age bracket, I just turned 31 this month, but I'm about to lose my dad after a year and a half long battle with metastatic mesothelioma and it is the worst pain. If anyone above ever wants to talk my inbox is open.
  12. Tgray

    Tgray New Member

    I just turned 26 and lost my father in July 2020 he was 45. We were really close and we talked at least once a week before he passed. I think it would help to have somebody in a similar situation to talk to.
  13. *Sarah*

    *Sarah* New Member

    Hi all, wow I'm just seeing your replies now. My inbox is open to all-- I'm wondering if anyone knows how to start a group chat maybe?
    I'm coming up on the 1st anniversary of my dad's passing and it's been tough.
  14. @APPY

    @APPY Well-Known Member

    Hello everyone ... Though I am not 20 Would still like to join in. I lost my dad on 5th may 2020. The pain is unbearable. He was the world to me. I am lost without him. Just Alive !
  15. Aziemba8

    Aziemba8 New Member

    Hello, everyone,
    I tragically lost my father August 2020 from a motor vehicle accident.
    I quickly became overwhelmed with many emotions the weeks following the accident so I took it upon myself to start therapy. I thought I was doing well up until recently and I feel like one thing I am struggling with is that people in my life don’t understand how I am feeling and what I am currently going through.
    I’d like to find someone to talk with that knows what I’m struggling with.
  16. lyss

    lyss New Member

    Hi. I just recently turned 25. I lost my husband 11/12/18 to a car accident by a drunk driver. I was in the car with him unfortunately he didn't make it. 03/12/2020 I lost my father as well.
  17. SeaShell

    SeaShell Member

    Hi. I am sorry for both the loss of your husband- so young, so tragic and for your dad. I hope you can find some sense of comfort on this site, sharing your story and memories. Hugs to you.
  18. aprilelyse

    aprilelyse Member

    Hi Bella,

    I lost my father when I was 14. It's been 20 years but I never got to a place where I could accept what happened. I definitely had a complicated relationship with him and I do feel that that affected my grieving process significantly.
  19. Abhi

    Abhi New Member

    I lost my dad 5 days ago suddenly. He was doing all fine. I spoke to him over call the same night this happened. He was very cheerful and told me that he is going to sleep. Suddenly early morning he complained that he is facing difficulty in breathing. He was alone at that time. We called our neighbors for help but no one showed up thinking it might be due to Covid and they might get infected. By the time my cousin reached and took him to hospital it was late. They tried but couldn’t save him. I regret every day for not being there with him. I keep picturing him in that terrible situation and keep thinking if there was any other way to save him. I am not able to accept that he in no more. I miss him badly. I still feel that he will give me call and I will talk to him. How do I accept it?
  20. Caitlynmariee

    Caitlynmariee New Member

    I’m 20, about to be 21 in 2 weeks. I lost my dad March 14th. He died by septic shock due to acute alcoholic hepatitis. His skin turned yellow in February and I begged him to go to the hospital. They said he needed a liver transplant, but he wasn’t strong enough yet. He ended up leaving against medical advice. He got sicker very fast. He got so sick that he couldn’t control his bowels, he couldn’t walk, he was nonstop hiccuping and would go through periods of not being able to breathe.. he finally went back to the hospital after we forced him. He told my mother he wanted to die at home and that he knew he was going to die, my mom didn’t mention this to me because she didn’t think he was going to die. I carried him to the car to go to the hospital. I got to tell him I loved him and to have fun at the hospital. He said he was going to be there for a while but he didn’t say forever.. he died within a week of being at the hospital. I got to see him one last time, but they said he was most likely braindead. I said everything I wanted to say but I didn’t get to hear from him. And on top of that seeing him that way.... I just can’t get the image out of my head. I don’t think he was there. I’m so angry that I couldn’t see him in the hospital while he was responsive because of covid. Im so angry that the doctors didn’t do more. How did they not expect his kidneys to fail too??!? Why didn’t they make sure that didn’t happen??!? What if my mom didn’t get advised to pull the plug, what if he wasn’t braindead and could’ve made it???? I know there’s nothing I can do now but I’m just so mad. My dad only drank heavy for 4 years and I begged him to quit alcohol. I told him so many times he was going to die if he kept drinking, and I’m so angry that I never got through to him. But then I’m also angry that I fought with him so much and didn’t just spend time with him. He was always drunk and it started to irritate me, I didn’t think I would have so little time with him, so I was pretty ruthless the last 2 years about it. The first 10 years of my life with my dad weren’t the best.. He would always cheat on my mom and he didn’t see me often. That really hurt me as a kid because I didn’t understand why I didn’t see my dad. When I was 10, we moved and my dad changed. He became a better dad, and he was doing things with his life. He started having an issue with alcohol 6 years later. It just sucks because I only got a solid good 6 years with my dad. The rest was just fighting or he wasn’t around. And I love my dad, so much. He always told me I was his first born and he would always love me. I don’t know how I’m going to do this. I need him here, I didn’t realize it until he was gone, how much I need him. It just constantly feels like somethings missing. And then I constantly have to watch my mom go through her rollercosters of pain because he was her first love. My mom is in so much pain, and that hurts me a lot, I have to stay strong for her but I never have seen her cry the way she does now.