Lost my Dad 12/2020 from Esophageal Cancer

Discussion in 'Loss of a Parent' started by sbohlmann1238, May 16, 2022.

  1. sbohlmann1238

    sbohlmann1238 New Member

    It's been a good year and a half since my Dad passed. I am continuing this grief journey - some days are ok, some days are bad. It's definitely day-by-day. My parents had retired in 2016 and moved to their beautiful lake home in November 2017. October 2019, my Dad was diagnosed with Stage IV esophageal cancer. He had a few symptoms - weight loss, hoarseness in his voice and sudden trouble swallowing. A scope revealed he had cancer, a few weeks later we learned it was terminal. My Dad was only 68 when diagnosed and passed at 69. I still feel lost without him. While although I'm a married woman in my 40's, my Dad was the first man to ever love me. We had a very close relationship and friendship. My Dad saw me through a lot of personal problems in my late 20's and early 30's. He was the voice of reason and the person who most supported me through the downs in life and greatest cheerleader for the ups. He was witty, so funny, wise, remembered everything, knew so much about music, and there are days I wished I had asked him things. I dealt with anticipatory grief for a good year, knowing I was going to lose him. While although he fought so hard, was determined to live and truly believed he was going to beat the cancer, his body failed him when the cancer took over in his spine and hips. I still feel like I have PTSD from watching what he went through and watching him slowly die. It's such a fragile thing in which it's difficult to talk to anyone about because it's morbid and because I don't currently have close friends who have lost a parent and can discuss with me.
    Just thought I'd try to connect with others who understand the profound loss of their Dad.