*DAYTIME AND EVENING GENERAL GRIEF GROUPS AVAILABLE EVERY WEEK* CLICK HERE TO JOIN US!

Lost my beautiful daughter 3/1/2020

Discussion in 'Loss of Adult Child' started by Love6392, Mar 2, 2020.

  1. Monique1979

    Monique1979 Member

    I hope one day the pain will move on from right infront of my eyes as I don’t want to live like this anymore you take care and we will speak again soon xx
     
  2. Vickie

    Vickie Active Member

    I will continue to pray for strength and comfort. I know the darkness you are in. You are not alone. Xx
     
  3. Monique1979

    Monique1979 Member

    And I shall do the same for you also thank you xx
     
  4. Vickie

    Vickie Active Member

    I just sat down its evening here and I thought I would check my email. I am a caregiver but currently due to covid helping my daughter with her two youngest girls so she can work. I am blessed to have four granddaughters and they are a big part of Why I keep going. I remember thinking after my daughter passed that I would Never feel anything but grief. It was like that for awhile but slowly and over the course of time I felt a bit of hope. I wish I had known about online support groups earlier but I am grateful I eventually discovered there was hope. Thinking of you and sending prayers. Xx
     
  5. Monique1979

    Monique1979 Member

    Hi Vickie I’m glad I came across these sites quickly as I needed some help just to talk to people in the same circumstances as me. See I’m glad you have said about your granddaughters have brought you comfort as I have practically pushed my eldest daughter and the baby to the side just can't handle it. I hope and pray that it gets easier I will never forget him I can’t get him out of my head tho it was the 29th of August this year which is still raw just glad I have someone to speak to xx
     
  6. Vickie

    Vickie Active Member

    I just read your post and I do not ever by any means wants to ever in to impose anything upon anyone that would make them uncomfortable especially going through a very difficult time the loss of a child. I believe that certain people are meant to cross paths. My daughter's birthday as well as my own is August 29 . She was born on my twenty first birthday. I lost her on September 18. I am so very Sorry for the pain you are in. I know that the only thing you want is for your Son to be back with you. It is nearly unbearable to have to mark another day much more another month without him. Keep talking to others. One day at a time and if to hard one hour at a time. Sending you prayers my friend. Xx
     
    Monique1979 likes this.
  7. Monique1979

    Monique1979 Member

    Thanks for getting back to me Vickie means a lot now how strange is that with your birthdays being the same day as my sons passing also my nieces birthday 18th September. I appreciate you taking your time out to speak to me. As you say it is each day or hour as it comes. I have returned to work 2 days a week to try focusing on something else other than sitting in the house just repeating everything in my head over and over again it’s hard tho I find comfort in talking to people that have experienced or are experiencing what I am going through. I don’t k is where in the world you are tho I sending lots of love hugs and strength to you xxx
     
  8. Vickie

    Vickie Active Member

    Good to hear from you. I to felt comfortable in talking to others who understood the depth of my heartache and loss. Loss is never easy but the loss of a Child Is unnatural. We go through life knowing that one day we Rd will have to say goodbye to loved ones but No one ever thinks that they will have to bury their Child. It's a club that No one wants to be a member of but having others that unfortunately understand helps to find our way through the darkness.

    I am in the united States CA. I am unsure what part of the world you are in. I met a dear friend on a grief blog years ago but unfortunately they passed in April from the horrible Virus he was from Europe and much older.

    I returned to work three weeks after my daughter passed away. I found a myself doing much the same just thinking over and over again about everything. I think it helped me to go back.

    I am thinking positive thoughts for you. I will keep you close in my prayers. Big hug for you my friend. Xx
     
    Monique1979 likes this.
  9. Monique1979

    Monique1979 Member

    Thanks honey I’m in Scotland and your right no one wants to be in the club where they have lost a child as no one understands how we feel we created this human and for it to be taken away from us is unnatural well In my eyes it is . I’ve been at work today got through it tho as soon as I returned home I cried asking spirit world why take my son away from me. I’m sorry to hear about your friend as well the world is a scary place at the minute tho having others to speak to and listen to me helps god bless xx
     
  10. Vickie

    Vickie Active Member

    Hello, thank you for your reply. I know the tears can just pour out endlessly. How can we not cry for our Child. I remember being in the store looking at clothing a little while after my daughter's passing and I just burst into tears. I stood at the back of the racks trying to gather myself together. Over time I was able to go out and get hit with my tears but it took time.

    I am not familiar with spirit world? Please forgive me if I sound dumb.

    I am glad that having others to talk to helps a bit.

    Sending you prayers and a hug.
     
  11. Vickie

    Vickie Active Member

    Meant to say not get hit with the tears.
     
  12. Monique1979

    Monique1979 Member

    Hi Vickie sorry I haven’t been in recently, I have been feeling very low and upset. I can imagine how you must have felt whilst shopping as just now Xmas is round the corner and my sons birthday also the 20th December I’m trying to bring myself round to ordering gifts for my family tho the thought of not buying gifts for my son is tearing me apart. I feel like each day is getting harder now xx
     
  13. Vickie

    Vickie Active Member

    I have been thinking about you and I thought about posting here in hopes you would see it but I wanted to respect your space. I am so very sorry for the very heart wrenching pain and time you are going through. It is never easy to lose a Child but losing a child or loved one before the holidays just seems to add more salt to our deep wound. Don't be hard on yourself my friend. Just getting through the holidays is difficult enough. Keep it simple. I hope that your family and believe they would understand. I have been with my husband nearly fourteen years and actually only married going on three. His mother and I were civil to one another but she never supported him really marrying me. I had not finished college as everyone in her family and no professional career. The year that my beautiful daughter passed away in September she and her husband insisted on coming to stay with Us for xmas. I had returned to work and needless to say I was just going through the motions to get through each day. I told my boyfriend( husband now) I could not believe his family. Selfish. I survived it but never did I forget her thoughtlessness. We got married at the City Hall and his family to this day doesn't know. His Mom who passed away a month ago never knew. I just believe strongly You/ We have to care for ourselves. My husband apologized recently for that because he never had children and hadn't suffered loss until his Mom. Please remember that You aren't Alone. I never could have imagined that I would get through the first year without my baby but I am here and the grief never completely leaves but relief will come in time. Keep talking and know you have support my friend. Hugs and prayers.
     
  14. Monique1979

    Monique1979 Member

    You seem to be very strong headed my friend, And your Lind words i listening to and taking in I just have never felt heart ache like this and of o didn’t gave family I’d be wanting to be with my son the bond we shared together was surreal the unconditional love has just been ripped away from me and I don’t know which way to get round it my family do understand tho I feel people get on with their life’s and I’m just stuck in a daze thinking what if it was all different I just wish it was thank you for getting back to me xxxx
     
  15. Vickie

    Vickie Active Member

    I believe someone tapped me on the shoulder and told me you are hurting beyond the realm of understanding. My dear friend that I told you about lost her Son who she had a very close bond with and she said she thought she could never survive the overwhelming loss. She has an older son but she felt no one truly understood until she and I connected and actually even met. It took her a couple of years before she started connecting with her oldest son on a deeper level. Same with my daughter and I. Out children seldom spoke of their siblings in the beginning but as time progressed they did. You loved your Son deeply and although he's not right beside You I believe he is with You. Sending you a big hug.
     
    Monique1979 likes this.
  16. Vickie

    Vickie Active Member

    Hi Moninue, I just wanted to send this to let you know that you are being thought of during a very difficult time. I know the grief and heartache can be relentless and it follows you no matter where you are. I just wanted to remind you that there are other that understand and are here to listen and offer support.

    Prayers and hugs....
     
  17. Monique1979

    Monique1979 Member

    Thanks Vickie it will take a lifetime I feel for the heart ache to stop well it will never stop. I believe his soul is right beside me tho I just wish life hadn’t been so cruel to take him as Christmas approaches my anxiety getting worse as his birthday is the 20th December I just want it all to be over and done with quickly this year as I don’t have my son here. Days are getting more difficult now for me sending love to you and thank you for replying to me
     
  18. Vickie

    Vickie Active Member

    Hello there, my heart remembers very well how deep the grief goes. I know that you just want to get past the holidays and not have to be without your Son this year on his birthday. I know that just losing your Son is almost more than you can bear and then the holidays and his birthday. I know that what I am going to say sounds impossible and probably unfathomable but the grief with time and I am not saying that it's in the near future but it will lift and change. Just as you probably feel there are no words that can even begin to express your heartache or lose, there is no way I can show you that your pain and sadness will not always cut so deep other than my testimony. I will keep you close in my prayers. I know that anxiety can almost feel paralyzing but remember that you are not alone. Prayers and love my friend. Xoxo
     
  19. Monique1979

    Monique1979 Member

    Thanks Vicki I appreciate your time, I know they sat time is a healer he’s just been such a big loss to us it’s destroyed my family. I think the mothers are the ones that hurt most because we created them sending lots of hugs love snd strength to you xxx
     
  20. Vickie

    Vickie Active Member

    Yes, we carried out Child and I believe it's the most difficult loss that we can suffer. My prayers are with you and your family'. Xoxo