Lost my 32 year old son to unexpected drug of

My 30 year old son died 3 years ago from a drug overdose while he was in recovery. He struggled with addiction, depression and anxiety for 8+ years. I thought he was doing well.. working, money in bank, planning for future. I was fooled and caught by surprise. My grief and shock were overwhelming but I managed. 2.5 years after his death I started feeling worse. depressed. I relapsed in my own 25 year recovery trying to change the way I felt. I’ve been married for 38 years yet my husband and I had very different ways of grieving and we were not and have not been able to support each other. We are both professionals and buried ourselves in work. We also had different thoughts on supporting our son through his addiction. I’m feeling lost and alone.

 

I’m so sorry for your loss. Having lost my son approximately the same age I emphasize with your pain.
We all grieve differently. I encourage you to try to find a way to speak w your spouse about your suffering and encourage him to share his. Without judgement. We’ve lost someone and it’s devastating enough. Don’t let it compromise your marriage.
For me I have to remember the time I had with him without letting my unrealized hopes cloud my thinking. Practice self care, it’s important.