*DAYTIME AND EVENING GENERAL GRIEF GROUPS AVAILABLE EVERY WEEK* CLICK HERE TO JOIN US!

Lost husband of 16 years Dec 12 2021.

Discussion in 'Loss of Spouse' started by LeynaJones81, Dec 22, 2021.

  1. LeynaJones81

    LeynaJones81 New Member

    He was my entire world. We were best friends. Did everything together. No kids just fur baby and reptiles. I am so lost. He was only 42. I need him. I love him. I miss him. Lost lonely scared worried sad.
     
    Van Gogh likes this.
  2. Van Gogh

    Van Gogh Well-Known Member

    Leyna, words can't express how deeply
    sorry I am that your beloved husband and
    soulmate died, after 12 years of marriage.
    May I ask his name? My wife, Linda. died,
    suddenly, in front of me. She was 68. We
    were married 25 years, and we had no
    children, either. She was my best (&
    only) friend, and family. I had PTSD, &
    had to see a grief counselor/therapist.
    She kindly suggested this wonderful
    site, Grief in Common. I hope you will stay
    with us. We help each other. Right now,
    there are 6 widowers. If you join us,
    you will be the 8th widow. I live on the
    northern coast of Massachusetts. Gary
    lives in Indiana , like you do. Lou
     
    LeynaJones81 likes this.
  3. Countess Joy

    Countess Joy Well-Known Member

    Hi Leyna,
    You’ve written “Lost lonely scared worried sad” that’s a pretty good summation, it’s just been 10 days I see from your post.
    Ugh, I’m so sorry. <3 I’m Bernadine, I arrived here last month not long after my partner, Kenn died.
    I’m glad you found us, it’s a good place to be. People come in and out as they need, I find it’s true that grief journeys are individual.
    As Lou said there’s a group of regulars who are always around and that provides a nice continuity.
    There’s no antidote to loss but having this place to share how we are feeling is helpful.
    ~Bernadine
     
    LeynaJones81 and Van Gogh like this.
  4. cjpines

    cjpines Well-Known Member

    My name is Karen. I'm very, very sorry you have to come to this site, but it's the best place to be. My husband, Jack, passed away last Nov 1 year ago. We were married 39 years. He leaves behind for me, his beloved cat, Rambo who gets me moving in the morning.
    I think Lou and Bernadine explained our group here very well. There is no judgement. Venting helps which is what we all do because it's part of grieving.
    Keep with us, Karen
     
    LeynaJones81, Sweetcole and Van Gogh like this.
  5. Countess Joy

    Countess Joy Well-Known Member

    And frequent tears, it’s a good place for those too.
    We have almost cornered the market on kleenex some days.
    Rambo is a great name for a cat, Karen. Does he live up to the name? (I assume male) ~B
     
    LeynaJones81 and Van Gogh like this.
  6. Gary166

    Gary166 Guest

    Hello Leyna. I’m terribly sorry for your loss too. My name is Gary and I lost my girl friend Cheryl 8 months ago suddenly and unexpectedly. We lived together the last 7 years. Cheryl meant everything to me. We were perfect for each other. Cheryl’s family told me I made Cheryl the happiest she had ever been. And Cheryl did the same for me. I go to grief support meetings in Ft Wayne at Visiting Nurses on the second and fourth Tuesday monthly. It’s a small group that averages about 12-16 people. The facilitator is the best. I found GIC in October. This site is a blessing because it was a long time between in person meetings. Leyna You’re going to be in shock for a long time. I’m still in shock but not as bad. Lou told us about centersforloss.com. This site offers free helpful guidance reading through our grief journey. I was doing counseling but stopped when I found GIC. We have to use all the resources we can to coexist with Mr Grief. Please stay with us. You are never alone here. Gary
     
    LeynaJones81 and Van Gogh like this.
  7. cjpines

    cjpines Well-Known Member

    Well, he used to live up to his name. He's now almost 16 years and, yes, a male who is the most loving cat anyone has ever seen. People can't believe how affectionate he is, like a dog. He can't take the place of Jack, but at least I have someone in my bed at night.
    I hope your Christmas holiday will pass with good thoughts. Karen
     
    LeynaJones81 and Van Gogh like this.
  8. Van Gogh

    Van Gogh Well-Known Member

    Thank you, Bernadine, I want to show
    love and compassion to new people,like
    Leyna, who are brave to get on GIC. Lou
     
    LeynaJones81 and Countess Joy like this.
  9. Van Gogh

    Van Gogh Well-Known Member

    Gary, it always does my heart good, when
    we welcome someone new, and that
    person decides to stay with us on GIC. I'm
    thrilled that Rick & Chad joined us, and that Tom and Paulette are giving it a try.
    I was welcomed here, with love, the end
    of July, but I feel I've known my friends
    here a lot longer. Lou
     
    LeynaJones81 likes this.
  10. Countess Joy

    Countess Joy Well-Known Member

    I know it was helpful for me to be welcomed by you, the first one was hard for me to post.
     
    LeynaJones81 and Van Gogh like this.
  11. Van Gogh

    Van Gogh Well-Known Member

    Thank you, Bernadine. I remember asking
    for your name and that of your soulmate,
    after I did the same. It has become my
    mission, in life, to comfort and help
    others, like I've been helped, in this grief
    journey. Lou
     
    LeynaJones81 likes this.
  12. LeynaJones81

    LeynaJones81 New Member

    Ty all for your kind words. JR was the best thing that ever happened to me. I'm still so emotionally drained I can barely move. Many have reached out, I just don't know what to say. Not trying to be closed off or rude I'm just dumbfounded and missing my husband.
     
    Van Gogh likes this.
  13. Van Gogh

    Van Gogh Well-Known Member

    Leyna, thank you for sharing the name
    of your husband, JR. You are very brave
    to get on Grief in Common ( GIC). I called
    ourselves The Grief Warriors ( TGW). bc
    we will leave no one behind. Even though
    my wife, Linda, died 3 years ago, I'm tossing & turning, and had a sad dream
    about her. I decided to get out of bed, have
    a light snack & herbal tea, and get on GIC.
    I replied to Robin, Sweetcole, and others.
    I see that you're up late. I'm going back to
    sleep. Hope you can, too. Lou
     
    LeynaJones81 likes this.
  14. csmith532

    csmith532 Well-Known Member

    My name is Chad. I lost my love, Lizzy on October 29th. She was 39 years old. I feel the same as you do. This site and group here have been a big help. I am just taking it one breath at a time.

    -Chad
     
    Countess Joy and LeynaJones81 like this.
  15. Van Gogh

    Van Gogh Well-Known Member

    Chad, I woke up this morning, after a
    rough night of sad dreams. In the middle
    of the night, though, I went on GIC, and
    talked with other people from the West
    Coast,who go to bed earlier than I do.
    Karen , from California, and Bernadine,
    from Oregon, comforted me.This
    Christmas season is bringing back
    people who I thought had left GIC, like
    Sweetcole, and new members like Leyna.
    It is so kind of you, whose wife, Lizzy, died so recently, to reach out to
    Leyna,who's about your age. I'm so glad
    you're my youngest brother in grief. I'm
    proud of you. Lou
     
  16. Educ8r

    Educ8r New Member

     
    Van Gogh likes this.
  17. Educ8r

    Educ8r New Member

    You are in my prayers as you navigate your great loss. My loss was very different from yours, yet I understand there are advantages and/or disadvantages attached to various aspects. While my husband was ill for a long time, I believe I began the grieving process. Yet, I miss his smile, and his presence beside me. Both of those had changed while he was ill. So, I’m already eager for male companionship, although not immediately for romance.
     
    LeynaJones81 and Van Gogh like this.
  18. Van Gogh

    Van Gogh Well-Known Member

    Welcome to Grief in Common (GIC). I
    chose Van Gogh as my user name, bc he
    was a tortured soul, like I was, when my
    wife, Linda, died suddenly in front of me,
    at 68, from a pulmonary embolism. We
    were married 25 years, no children. My
    name is Lou, 72. I live on the northern
    coast of Massachusetts. My heart goes out
    to you about the horrible, slow death of
    your husband, and the emotional and
    physical toll on you. I can't imagine it, but
    I do know a woman, in her 70s, who had a
    similar experience. I want to praise you
    for bringing up the topic of finding a new
    man, not to replace your husband, but to
    share your life. Your happiness comes first
    before the rush to judgement by family or
    friends. May I ask your first name, and that of your husband? Linda died right before
    Thanksgiving, 3 years ago. Although I'm
    better now, after grief counselimg, and
    meeting new people, I am very sad and
    lonely when I wake up. I reach out to my
    5 "brother"widowers, and currently 8
    widowers who have become my close
    friends since I joined the end of July. Lou
     
    LeynaJones81 likes this.
  19. LeynaJones81

    LeynaJones81 New Member

    It's hard for others to really understand what we go through, (as I barely understand myself sometimes) and although I may not say a lot all of you who have replied to me, I truly ty and it feels a bit good I guess to know someone understands this loss. Jr was literally my entire world. We were basically loners, but together. He was way more outgoing then me, he knew all our neighbors names the week we moved in our home. I still don't know them 3 years later. Just a good man with a huge heart I was blessed to have in my life for our marriage of 16 years. God I miss him so much it hurts so much.
     
    Van Gogh likes this.
  20. Countess Joy

    Countess Joy Well-Known Member

    Leyna,
    I heard that introverts make friends because an extrovert found them and accompanied them around. That’s how Kenn and I were. He, like Jr, knew the neighbor’s names (and their kid’s & pet’s names too)
    The missing them is palpable. It physically aches in the chest in a way others may not understand. In the heart beat, in the breath, we’re alive in there under the ache. ~Bernadine
     
    Van Gogh and LeynaJones81 like this.