Lost Both Parents by 19.. I'm 25 now and it still is so raw.

Discussion in 'Loss of Both Parents' started by christealc., Aug 10, 2021.

  1. christealc.

    christealc. New Member

    I was 17 when I lost my mom to cancer at the age of 47. I watched her suffer for 6.5 years before she finally passed.. and it wasn't even the cancer that killed her, really. She suffocated. She fell one night after getting out of her bed while everyone was asleep and was too weak to move after wards. Her face was on the pillow and she was unable to breath and slowly passed. My dad woke up to find her shortly after. A year and a half later, I lost my dad. He was murdered by a neighbor of ours that we had known for many years. He was on drugs and enraged for reasons unknown. My dad's death has been the crippling one. I have made peace with my mom's.. I had years to come to terms with it. Not my dad's. It's still so painful. I have cried all night tonight. Many nights are spent this way. It's been almost 6 years and the pain is a deep as it was the night he was killed. Complicated Grief is an actual disorder and though I haven't been diagnosed, I'm certain that I've been dealing with it. I recently just had a baby and as hard as the grief has affected me already, now it's harder. I have no other living adult relatives in my life. Both parents are gone. My grandmother, the only one I ever knew, passed 5 months before my dad did. My other grandparents are passed on, not that I ever knew them. Aunts and uncles aren't in my life. They live states away and never had anything to do with my family as a child, therefore I don't know them either. It's just me and my siblings. I have no one to turn to when life feels heavy.
    Tbstarkin and Chris M 2000 like this.
  2. christealc.

    christealc. New Member

    My soul is tired and it's just overwhelming sometimes. Thank you for reading. I'm sorry any of you are here on this site.

    ****My thread wasn't complete when it posted. My apologies***
    Chris M 2000 likes this.
  3. Chris M 2000

    Chris M 2000 Well-Known Member

    I am so sorry for your many losses and the terribly tragic way your Dad died. I too, have no close relatives.
    I looked online and found a mother's support group called mops.org where you can join a group of other mothers for support or even start a group of your own. Maybe you could look into this to see if it would be at all helpful to you.

    Stay in touch with us here at this website. We understand the pain of grief and the slow progress because we have all lost someone we love. We want to be a support to you in any way you need. We care and are good listeners.
    Love to you,
  4. michaela

    michaela New Member

    I can’t say our pain is the same.. but I too know what it’s like to have both parents and gran gone. Yes there’s other family, but I’m not close to them. I too feel like I have no guidance and it sucks. I’m 23, I was 19/20 when it all happened. But the pain still feels like it happened yesterday. You are not alone in your pain. I am with you.
    Tbstarkin and Chris M 2000 like this.
  5. Chris M 2000

    Chris M 2000 Well-Known Member

    Hi, michaela. How brave you are to keep going on and now only that, but helping others along the way.
    I am very sorry for your loss. We lost our 28 year old son to suicide. I understand how devastating that can be.
    May God give you strenth, comfort, and shower you with His love.