Loss of niece

Discussion in 'Coping After a Sudden Loss' started by Karenn78, Feb 10, 2018.

  1. Karenn78

    Karenn78 New Member

    My niece passed away in April of 2016. She was only 7. An SUV hit her while she was holding my brother in laws hand, he is okay, fortunately. I loved her very much. My kids are close to her age and they were all incredibly close, especially my daughter who is 8 months older. My niece was my only sister’s only child. I don’t have any other nieces or nephews on my side of the family. Watching my family grieve has been very difficult for me on top of my own grief. The memories of the hospital the night she died still haunt me, especially at night. It was like the world had caved in on itself. I don’t have any unresolved issues with her, I know she knows I love her. I just miss her horribly. I’ve never experienced such a yearning for someone. My kids seem to be doing okay, and I am hopeful this tragedy will make them more compassionate and loving and not fearful or bitter. I ache for my mother and my sister so deeply. It has been an enormous loss for my family. I also struggle with feeling of guilt that my three children are here when my sister’s only is not. I know all the rational arguments against that, but sometimes my guilt returns. I also feel I fit in nowhere as I am not a bereaved parent or grandparent. I often say there needs to be a bereaved aunt group. I’m hoping to find someone who understands my grief here.
  2. member16

    member16 New Member

    Hi, Karenn.

    I've just stumbled across your message following an online search.

    Did anyone ever come back to you on this? I see it's been more than two years.
  3. Sheryl2018

    Sheryl2018 New Member

    Hi Karen,

    I know it has been a while since you wrote this. Regardless, I felt compelled to write back. I lost my niece in October 2019. It by far has been one of the most difficult, life changing experiences. I, too, felt like she was my own. She was my sister's daughter but I loved her more than words can describe. I still think about her every day and miss her terribly.

    I agree, there is a need for a bereaved aunt group. I often feel like I have no one to turn to because, as you said, we are not the parents or grandparents. However, what we feel is strong and there is still a yearn to speak to someone about the loss and pain.
  4. lrobert62

    lrobert62 New Member

    Hi Karen,
    As Sheryl said above, I felt compelled as well even though it's been a few years since you wrote this. I lost my niece May 2019, 3 days after Mother's Day. It was her first Mother's day that she really wasn't able to really celebrate. It was a complete shock and to this day I find myself struggling with the loss. Nine months before, she gave birth to a beautiful daughter, after her own loss with her first pregnancy. There are times when I just can't control my sadness and just cry. The hardest thing about my situation is the person who took her life in front of her baby(her husband) has still not yet been convicted so the wound is still fresh.

    I too agree that there needs to be a bereavement group for aunt's. Like the questioner to join here doesn't list aunt as a category in a family. But to me an aunt is an important member in a family. We have feelings and we matter.
  5. Mallory0729

    Mallory0729 New Member

    My niece passed away suddenly in October of 2021. I have no children so I spent all of my time helping my sister with my two nieces since her husband didn’t. My sister finally left her husband due to domestic violence and took my two nieces with her and was staying at our mother’s house. Our mother had a pool and one day my two year old niece got out somehow and drowned. We got a pulse back, but it was too late. She was already brain dead. I was in the room when we had to take her off of life support and had to watch her die. It was terrible and I relive it in my head every day. Now we are going through a custody battle with my other niece. It’s awful. I miss my niece so much she was like the daughter I always wanted but never had. I hope all of our nieces are playing in heaven together until we can join them.
    Oyin likes this.