Loss of my Sister - getting more difficult

Discussion in 'Loss of Sibling' started by Stacey, Feb 7, 2018.

  1. Stacey

    Stacey New Member

    I lost my sister almost three months ago. I wrote about her and posted in the sudden loss section. I knew things would be hard for a while, there would be no true end to my grieving process. What I didn't anticipate was how much worse it would be now. I think about her and miss her from morning to night. It is impossible to function. I don't want to talk to anyone, yet I am upset that people have stopped calling. I barely go outside and basically eat all day. I don't know how I can eat - when my parents passed away, I couldn't eat at all. My heart is broken. I have forgotten how to live. I have forgotten the things I used to like to do. I have forgotten how to do all the little things that made up my day. It takes me longer to do everything from taking a shower in the morning to fall asleep at night. I see a grief therapist and feel better for the hour I am with her but worse after I leave. I want my best friend back. I need her back.

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  2. Hannah Laudo

    Hannah Laudo Member

    Hi Stacey,
    I am so sorry that you are having such a difficult time processing the loss of your sister, I know it's difficult to imagine right now, but it does eventually get easier. Some days are harder than others, but you will get to a point where you will gain the strength to push through the grief. You will tell yourself "She would want me to get out of bed and conquer this day." It doesn't take away the pain, but it helps.

    I'm always here if you need someone to talk to!
    SisterPrice1 and Anne in Ohio like this.
  3. Aila

    Aila New Member

    Hi Stacey,

    I lost my brother suddenly 6 months ago, and when you lose someone quickly like that, the shock to your system often takes a while to catch up to you. It's totally understandable that you feel even worse now as the reality of what you've lost has begun to set in. We never fully get over a love so strong, or a loss so deep. We just gradually learn to absorb the sorrow and stand up to live another day. Some days I feel like I died too that day I lost my brother, but they just forgot to bury me. I feel adrift, like a ghost of my former self. Siblings know us better than we know ourselves sometimes, and losing your sister can feel like a big part of you went with her. I also eat too much to dull the silent roar in my end--it's a numbing mechanism, and I know it, but there are more unhealthy ways to try and cope so I'll take what I can get. It's better than alcohol or drugs. Your grief timeline is your own. I'd just say, lean into it...the sorrow is your companion, so pay attention to it. Cry, and cry some more. Take time to let the grief overwhelm you for a while and sink into it. Later, I'd encourage you to reach out to someone. You feel alone, but you're not. There are people who want to help you, they just don't know how.
  4. Kim W

    Kim W Member

    Hi there , I just lost my older sister unexpectedly yesterday . I believe it was an aneurysm but wont officially know until after the autopsy . I am lost , so broken . I cant sleep , cant stop crying . Im numb and still in shock . I sat with her at the hospital after she passed , I had to leave I couldnt see her that way , she still had tubes and her ears were mottling already . My beautiful sister , my best friend , my rock is gone . I dont know how to cope , Im so sorry for you but please know your not alone
    Debsforever and griefic like this.
  5. Debsforever

    Debsforever Member

    My little sister passed suddenly 4 months ago today, she was my life, my heart and my world since we lost our mom, step dad and grams in a 15 month period 13 years ago. I have other family and friends but all i want to do is sit here and cry i dont know how to go on without her and dont want to.
    JANELC and Kim W like this.
  6. Anne in Ohio

    Anne in Ohio New Member

  7. Anne in Ohio

    Anne in Ohio New Member

    Stacey, I am so very sorry for the loss of your sister. I lost my sister one year ago today...July 15,2017. I was one of her primary caregivers. It was extremely difficult for me during the first year. I did go to hospice and attended grieving classes. Any one can attend that experience a loss either in hospice or not, it doesn’t matter. That helped but I understand what you are talking about. Getting up and taking a shower were a major deal for a long time. I know just recently gotten a part time job which is a blessing and big help into trying to go into the next chapter of my life without my sister. I hope this helps and may God bless you. Anne
  8. Kim W

    Kim W Member

    I am so very sorry . I too , lost my sister a little over a month ago . The past month has been a living hell for me . I dont have any advice as I need some too , I dont know if it gets easier but I think you learn to cope better . I miss her everyday . Please know your not alone . Sending hugs and love
    SisterPrice1 likes this.
  9. Kim W

    Kim W Member

    Im so very sorry . We are in the same boat . It has been 32 days since my sister passed . I miss her so much . I was grieving so badly I didnt know how to go on or how to live anymore without her . I dont think it ever gets any easier but I think we learn to cope better over time , not a day goes by I dont think of her and I would give anything to see her one more time . You are not alone
    SisterPrice1 likes this.
  10. Colleen60MN

    Colleen60MN Member

    Wow you really can put words together to match how I'm feeling also we do feel adrift and our siblings know us so well I also lost my sister and cry everyday I think about her constantly also so it's going to be a rough road I'm 60 and we always talked about getting to be old ladies together. I know I'm older but we talked about running the nursing home as in running with our wheelchairs knocking people over with arcane's things like that we just had the funnest humor she too had everyone laughing all the time the life of the party yes it feels like people have forgotten which they do and don't call I feel so alone because she really was about the only person I would talk to about everything and anything. I'm going to start a grief counseling soon. Just like you said we are adrift we don't know where to go from here and when it's sudden like mine was and yours was and all the others it's just a circle of grief. I am doing the talk to text so forgive my lack of punctuation. I live in Minnesota where it's like 20 below right now. But I go out even less than I used to. Right right when you can. Thanks for sharing I appreciate reading all of these comments because some of it does help more than I thought it would. Hugs from Colleen my sister's name was Janet. Janet Louise.