Loss of my daughter to heroin

Sept of 2017 I got the call every parent dreads. come to the hospital and no information was given. I am a nurse so I know what that means.
My daughter was taken to a nearby hospital after her drug dealer shot her up w heroin after many months of not using. when I got there I had to wait forever to talk to someone, then they called me into the small room where she was, she looked beautiful, peaceful, only like she was asleep. I think it was the first time I’d seen her peaceful. She had so much pain in her life after she lost her father then stepfather died too.
I think she didn’t want to feel anything.
I took her to counseling and rehabs but I don’t feel like I did enough
The guilt I feel is overwhelming, I hate myself, I wish there were so many things I’d done differently I have completely changed and no longer recognize my old self.
My daughter is gone and I feel it’s my fault

 

I am sorry for your situation. We never feel like we did enough, but we are only human and can only do so much. Your daughter is not gone because of your fault. Your daughter is gone because the drugs robbed you of her. We do the best we can with what we know at the time. We all feel guilty and wish we had done things differently. Try not to be so hard on yourself. You need support right now, not criticism. Be patient with yourself and forgive yourself because if you talk to God about this, He is ready to forgive you also. We are only human and we all make many mistakes and have to ask to forgiveness. That is why Jesus came in our place, so we could go to God with our heartaches and let Him help us through these unbearable circumstances. We care about you and understand how it is. We all wish we could have changed the outcome, but we can't. We can only do so much and then we have to give it to God. Try to remember your daughter as being peaceful for the first time in her life and try to be grateful that she is no longer suffering.
She has left all the heartache behind and I know how hard that is for you. I understand and care. Please stay in touch here and let us know how you are getting along. Share your feelings as you feel led because sometimes this helps relieve some of the pain.
I love you.
Chris