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Loss of my brother is so very hard

Discussion in 'Loss of Sibling' started by Michele Zamarripa, Aug 19, 2018.

  1. Michele Zamarripa

    Michele Zamarripa New Member

    I lost my brother February 13,2015 just 3 weeks after we lost our mom due to Mesothelioma. Lost my dad 28 years ago .I have a sister but she is not my biological sister (I do love her more than anything ) but I am that's all that's left of my mom and dad and sometimes I just feel so very lonely 3 years later and I still feel so numb and devistated. I still just cry at the drop of a hat even as I write this I cry. I can put on the fake smiles and fake like I am really enjoying life when in reality my heart is still broken. I just miss my brother so very much. I wished the good Lord hadn't called him home so early and just left me behind I can't deal with his wife. I don't hardly ever talk to my sister and I feel like an outsider in my own family. I don't know what to do any more. I try not to talk to my friends about it I don't want to bother them but I just feel so stuck. I love my brother so much I don't know how to do this alone.
     
    Michele Zamarripa, Aug 19, 2018
    #1
  2. griefic

    griefic Administrator Staff Member

    Michele, I am so sorry for all the losses you've faced. For many grievers, time isn't the healer they would hope it would be. As time passes we can feel only further away from the people we've lost. And it's hard because people around us expect us to be doing better than we are, and than this can only make us feel worse for not improving in the way they would hope. It sounds like your brother was your "go-to" person, and the person you brought you a great deal of comfort and security. When we lose someone we love we don't "just" lose them. Some people are truly the foundations of our life, and without them, we feel shaky, unstable, and unsure of ourselves or our future. Moving forward in grief is about rebuilding that foundation in some way. It doesn't mean replacing a person we've lost, but finding a way to feel strong on our own. This is no easy task, I know. And for some there is great comfort in staying with the hurt that loss brings. But choosing to move ahead means finding a way to live a meaningful life while still honoring and remembering those we've lost.
    I'm hoping you can find some support and comfort here. There are grievers here who can truly understand what you're going through and I hope through the reading and sharing of stories you can find some connection and know that you're not alone. We are to help~
     
    griefic, Aug 23, 2018
    #2
    Michele Zamarripa likes this.